Annoying the Vamps
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: I'm Ann Siam, and this is my humerous part of life when Zero and Kaname suffer my WRATH! and how I became friends with some B*TCHY people. Read and review, since my brain is only so large.  P.S: This is a Story, not a list and collection of stories .
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, so in this, I'm known as Ann, okay? That's not my name, because I'm one for my privacy. So the basic idea is there's a troublemaker who's Yuki's friend. It's like the joker-version-of-me, K? I'm not thirteen, and my birthday is not May 5. **

_Chapter 1_

"BUT DAD!" I pout.

"No buts Ann!" Dad sighs. "You need education!"

"BUT AT CROSS ACADEMY? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SEND ME TO…_HIS _DOMAIN?"

"You're brother is _not _evil, for the last time!" Mom groans.

"Yes he is!" I pout. "I don't care, I'm NOT going!"

"But Yuki Cross is attending there!" my younger brother, Al, whines.

I sigh and turn to him, my shoulder length brown hair ruffling. "Look, Allie, just because _you _like Yuki-san, does not mean _I _like Yuki-san. That would mean I'm Lesbian, gay, whatever, which I'm not."

"Sexist," he mutters.

"As long as I'm not screwing with women, I'm perfectly fine being called a sexist."

"Excuse me, but where did he learn that word?" Dad raises a brow.

"China," I blurt.

Mom sighs. "Look, can't you and your brother just get along?"

"The day we get along is the day Kaien Cross grows a _male brain_."

"Ann!" Mom gasps.

"What? It's true!"

The door knocks and I roll my eyes. "Be back never." The door opens to my brother, which I'm sad to say, is Richard Siam, like me, Ann Siam. I roll my eyes and try to storm up the steps, but I freeze once I see familiar suitcases in his hands, _my _suitcases. "OH WHAT THE F*CKING CR*P?"

"ANN!" Dad groans.

"WHAT?" I slam my head repetitively on the white railing on the stairs. "IT'S…NOT…FAIR!"

Richard sighs and grabs me by the neckline, which I start spraying Holy Water in his face. He shuts his eyes and sighs. This is the monthly hiding drill. Yeah, so I said hiding. He drags me out, kicking and screaming, and a long black car is waiting for us. I stop spraying the Holy Water and glare. He knows I'm in a P*SSED mood. He opens the door and lifts me in, dumping my luggage on my lap. I widen my eyes. The only sound is the 'OOMPH' I let out with all the luggage force. What did he pack my room? Ugh…it P*SSES me off that he's seventeen and I'm thirteen, and STUCK THAT WAY. Trust me, I learned that because I was supposed to turn fourteen a week ago; nada. I look to my left to a brunette vampire, pale, mahogany eyed, and tall. I blink.

"Who the He** are you?" I ask.

Richard enters into the passenger seat and smiles back at me. "Now, Ann, you better not speak rudely in front of Mr. Kuran!"

I blink. "Is He** considered rude?"

He sighs, precipitation forming along the sides of his face. "It is in a way."

I turn to 'Kuran'. "Nice to meet you, I hope you go to He**!"

"ANN!"

I smile at him. "Saying it as a placed isn't bad."

He duct tapes my mouth for the rest of the ride.

**Moral of the chapter: Don't curse in front of Mr. Reads a lot and brother (I love him as a brother, but I pretend not to in front of my parents because they carry a camera EVERYWHERE).**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

I allow Kuran and Richard to drag me out, since they had to restrain me with yet more duct tape. **Side moral: Don't do everything in your power to get free, it hurts. **I blankly stare up at the sky, wishing I was at home, giving Al toilet dunks and eating a heart's content worth of candy (never get cavities, HAHA!). I huff under the tape. Those happy days are gone now, and replaced with the soon torture…for the students. Nobody but Richard knows me well enough to know that I _love _a good joke, especially when I get away with it (that's like a limited edition peppermint bark square). Well, at least this is a place with someone _gullible_. Richard stops and Kuran sits me upright against a tree. I have an eerie feeling he's _enjoying _this. Richard kneels in front of me, his ruffled chin length brunette bob covering the fangs in his mouth slightly and the brown orbs with a light sprinkle of hazel.

"Now, I'm going to take the tape off," he says as if instructing some kindergartener NOT to put their hand in the toaster, or the little elves will have something to eat at night. "Do NOT say ANYTHING rude to Kaname, no curses, nada!"

I roll my eyes behind _their _tape. Let's just say he cut holes in them. He rips off the face tape and I gasp for air. Was it necessary to tape my nostrils? My ears, which I don't get, were also tapped. I swear they were trying to duct-tape-mummify me or something! I spit out a piece of tape that went into my mouth and look up at Kaname, smirking.

"_You're going to die in seven days," _I mouth.

A girl, same color eyes and hair as me, walks up, blinking. Her Day Class uniform is black and she's carrying some form of…_horse feed_? Oh, now I _know _I'm going to have fun here. "Uh…what's with her?"

I look up at her with Puppy dog eyes. This is _so _worth ten year's of practice. "These boys are bullying me!" I cry, crocodile tears being my _specialty_. "I just wanted to go to school, have an education, and then these jerks wanted me to l-leave!" Fake sobs, my best touch yet!

The girl falls for it, hard, and she glares up at 'Kaname Kuran'. Huh, are his parents poets or did they make his name an alliteration on accident? "You two should be ASHAMED of yourselves!"

"That's not true though!" Richard stands, gapping and waving at me with desperate hands, longing for understanding. "I, he, no, she, no school, GAH!"

He knows 'finder keeps and looser weeps' and I think he's pretty familiar with _my _mottos '_Second place is First place looser_' and _'First gets it, Second sucks it'_. He sighs and stares at my 'crying' expression. "I JUST WANTED TO GO TO S-SCHOOL!" I 'sob'.

He faces Kaname. "See what I have to live with?"

The girl scoffs and unties me the rest of the way. I squeak and run behind her, 'trembling'. "Thank you, nice lady!"

"Your welcome," she smiles. "Now with _these _two…"

"Yuki, do you really think she's telling the truth?" Kaname backs up.

'Yuki' nods and runs after them, an Artemis Rod high in the air. I chuckle to myself and gather up my luggage, walking off. I stare at my feet until I bump into someone's back, which I look up. The guy turns and I find him SUPER tall, about Kaname's height. His hair is silver and eyes purple, his skin pale and small fangs in the mouth. I blink up and shield my face slightly with a duffle bag.

"Ah SH*T, the universe hates me now," I mutter.

"Who are you?" he demands harshly.

I blink and glare up. Might as well get it over with. "Look, you stupid D*CK, I was just walking and it's not my F*CKING fault you were standing in the middle of the CR*PPY road, got that as*?"

**Bringing it to the point, the Moral: Don't 'get it over with'. **


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

"Cheer up," Yuki sighs, "I'll scold him later."

I sigh, my broken rib not at all friendly today. Yesterday, that big bully kicked my as*, as my as I hate to admit it. I got out of the infirmary yesterday as well, in which case I started planning my revenge (I was heavily drugged inside). I drum my fingers on my dorm desk with the blank sheet of paper in front of me. Yuki is next to me, also thinking of a comeback scheme (the best pranks are with a friend). I snap my fingers and jot down a quick idea. This might work…

At lunch, Yuki works on getting Kaname over to the cafeteria, though as extremely dangerous as you think that might be, the future screaming fan girls will have their roll. I poke at my food and glance over my shoulder to see Zero, nibbling on the chicken wings we have for lunch. I grin. This might work, even if we only get half way. I stand and run over, ducking behind him before he can notice. Without his knowledge of me doing so, I slowing stand up behind him, towering with the great fortune of no shadow, and slam my hands down hard on his shoulders, surprising him in the middle of a swallow and causing him to choke. If you know me, you know I have the Killer-Stakes policy: 'Not allowed to kill anyone unless the situation is dire.' Either that or I would have already died. Yeah, and I would've killed a hundred more PR*CKS. As he chokes, Kaname comes in, Yuki pushing him forcefully. The bonus is that Richard's with them. It's the perfect opportunity to just cause some _mayhem_. I stand him up, prepared to do a Heimlich maneuver, and jerk up where the hands are located, causing him to hack up brown goop with white-you know I shouldn't even describe it even though it's a habit. Like the LINKIN PARK song 'Breaking the Habit', you know-I should just stop talking. The…unspeakable…lands on Kaname's pants which the event forces me almost choke on laughter. He stares at it and looks back up at Zero, glaring I guess.

"What was that?" he asks.

Zero turns and glares at me. "Ask her."

I shrug innocently. "I was just helping Zero because he was choking." My puppy dog eyes show making Richard sigh in grief and Yuki frown in sadness; she falls so hard for these things.

"Kaname, please don't get angry," Yuki tugs on his sleeve, "I'll clean it up."

I stifle a laugh. _Yeah, while he's still in them, _I think sickly. "That's a good idea! I'll talk to Zero about his mental and health issues while you go on ahead!" I cheer.

Kaname smirks before leaving. Zero glares down at me. "What do you have against me?" he demands.

I hug him around the waist. Just because I'm thirteen doesn't mean I can't say the next line. "I have nothing against _you_ Sexy Charmin'!" I smile into his uniform. I look up and skip away, a terrified, and possibly scared for life Zero left behind. I walk outside, the sun brighter, and the trees producing Oxygen by the second. I hug a tree, then go off and eat the head off a small hare. Now before you react, I'm a vampire, no duh. I participate in both classes, since I still have sugar rushes to burn off that haven't gone away since…whenever I started eating candy and drinking soda and beer. Trust me; the real rushes are n-a-s-t-y. I take a gulp of air and run off, shutting my eyes for a brief moment until…SLAM! My nose is bleeding, and I'm hugging yet another tree the painful way.

**Moral of the Chapter: Running into trees hurt. **


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

After that nosebleed yesterday from the trees, I went back to my dorm to sleep, which so miserably failed. I found out that the source was that there was _barbed wire _in my pillow under all the stuffing. Hmmm…I sigh and tap the quill against my dorm desk once more. This is how I always look while thinking. The door knocks and I grunt, slamming the quill down (I'm weird if you haven't noticed) and stomp over, yanking the door open to a smirking Zero.

"Sleep well?" he asks.

I sigh and give him the fakest smile I have EVER pulled. "It was peachy, Mr. Sexy." I slam the door. Can't he give me a day's peace? Apparently, as long as I live, the answer is (dramatic inhale) no. I kick the desk leg and glare out the window. Think, Ann, think! What can I do? Who can I prank…wait, who? Yes, WHO! Who I love you! My brilliant plan…it's finally here! (Insert evil laughter here).

(Insert time passing here).

Now then, let's see some mayhem, shall we? I chuckle darkly and start walking to the Moon dorms, my Halloween bag full of plastic white pills with a small sugar explosive (not tested…_yet_). I slide through the doors and stifle maniacal laughter, creeping high and low for every blood tablet. Seeing my brother is in Night Class, I would know where they are. Picking up every single tablet, even reaching to the high stakes of sneaking into the rooms of a few sleeping vampires may I so add, I sneak into Kaname's room, holding my breath oh so carefully. I slide the Halloween candy under his bed and tiptoe out of the room, unable to stop smiling and once outside, I run so I could work off the laughter. Now, just to get Zero back with a well deserved pay-back. I stop and run back to the door, taping a 'note from Zero' on there and running off. I'll probably tell you what it says soon enough, but let's just say…I'm evil.

(Insert time passing here).

I skid to a stop at Zero's dorm, the bag of the actual blood tablets hugged to my chest. Since today's a day off, he has to make sure the girls don't hover the Night Class so the secret doesn't get out (Richard blabs about this CR*P everyday). I push the door open, a loud creak making me stop for any sounds of footsteps. One person catching me, and I'm resulting to my high stakes policy (it should be in Ch.2 of my little joke pandemonium). I tug the sleeves of my jacket with my fingers that pop out of the edges of my embrace with the bag, nervous as he**. I tiptoe to his closet and shove the blood tablets, sticking ten in my own case and hiding it in my pocket, at the very top, WAY to the back. After that climb, I silently shut the door and lift up the window, slipping out and shutting it. I look around to check for any witnesses, and once I can't find any, I run across the roof, smiling. But, if they find out, let's just say I like living.

FIRST RESULT

I'm reading Dummies for Dummies, Yuki reading some 'sophisticated novel' next to me. I tap the corner of the paperback and sigh, looking up and walking out of the Study Hall, even though normal people like me call it a 'Library'. What I've learned so far is that word has left the smart kids' dictionaries and categorized themselves as 'slang' or 'an illegal word that's too plain' or some funky SH*T like that. Engrossed in my book, I don't see Kaname until I walk into him. I look up placidly and he glares down at me. I gulp.

"Uh, hey Kuran…" I laugh nervously. "How's the weather this morning?"

He squints like he's trying to figure me out. "Where's Kiryu?"

Oh SH*T he read the note! This is the best day ever as long as my sorry as* lives! "Don't know…why?"

He shoves the note at me, which I accept it and read 'Zero's words (this is odd, so if you're some sophisticated freak, you're welcome to chicken out and NOT see how random I can be):

_Look, Kuran, you want blood, right? Well, in order to get your precious little pills back, you're going to have to fight me for them in the fountain where nobody will likely to be around. Got it?_

_-Zero Kiryu_

If confused, the random part was the fountain. I'm serious, like, three hours after I wrote it, I finally got the idea to film it, give it to an editor, and post it on the school website, which I quickly scratched out to E-Mail to specific peoples. I blink, trying to NOT laugh like an old man watching some black and white comedy film.

"Wow…the fountain?" I ask, a bit of impression in my voice for effect. "You do know that water seeps into white clothes and shows the skin, right?" He nods. "Dude, you're sick."

"What?" he gaps.

"You're wearing _white pants_."

Boom, he faints.

END RESULT

Smacking the camera a few times, I direct it at the fountain, the battery fully charged (unlike some peoples) and wait. After an hour, the battery is an eighth gone (do the math yourselves). Now, they arrive, both P*SSED.

"What do you want, Kuran?" Zero growls menacingly.

Kuran rolls his eyes. "Don't play that game with me, Kiryu. You're the one who started this!"

Honestly, it was Zero who started it. I wouldn't have thought of stealing the tablets if not for Zero. The sick thing is Kaname's still wearing his uniform, his _white _uniform. I shake my head slowly and direct the camera at Zero, waiting for a comeback. I zoom in a bit, only to see the corner of his mouth twitching. Something beeps, and they turn to my hiding place. I widen my eyes and stare at the camera in shock. Why? Just why does EVERYTHING HATE ME SO? I flick it and it beeps again, making me look at the screen: SLEEP MODE.

"What the F*CK is the universe trying to tell me?" I mouth, watching as the two creep closer.

I cover my mouth and back up extremely slowly, praying to my lord that I will live and be scar free, no loopholes. I back up into something and turn slowly. It's just a tree. Remember the last moral? Tree's hurt, and my guess is in more ways than one. I scramble up and run for it, hoping branches and OH SO PRAYING, that I didn't get caught. I spot the gate, still praying. I hop past the gate, still praying. I trip on the steps, still praying and now wincing. I roll into the street, still wincing but stopped praying. I get hit by some drunk driver, not funny and still extremely wincing. I fly up and right a ways in front of a door. I glance up and squint. Oh, this is nice; it's my old school's sick-man, Calibri.

**Moral for the Chapter: Taking a vampire's stash of tablets and putting the blame on someone else just to make them have a fight and edit the video in a Super wrong way is not at all a good regulation. **


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

"So…you want me to gay up these pictures," Calibri wonders for the fifth time in the hour I've been here.

Something tells me he's just trying to keep me here for as long as he can so he can tell his buddies afterword. "Look, if you don't wrap it the F*CK up, I'll go."

"NO!" he cries. "I-I mean, what's the rush? This is for revenge right?"

I shrug. "So what if it is?"

He smirks. "Okay, well, you have some pretty good stuff about the fountain and all, but I sort of need more."

I blink. "More?"

"Yeah, have you heard of the word Ann? It means 'additional quantity; to multiply; increase'."

I sigh. After that high stake penalty, I have to risk my life even _more _to get _more _blackmail photos (illegal as it is). I stand and shake his hand, allowing him to edit the video while I work on getting yet more life-ending pictures. Ah, what I do for revenge. Richard might be able to tell you, since he's been the victim of some of my schemes (Mom was once, but I don't like to talk about it). I trudge off out the door and onto the sidewalk. No cars, so I dash past, jumping the gate and running for my dorm. Who knows what'll happen if I stay out of my dorm while Zero patrols (again, I have Richard for a reason).

(Insert Time Passing here)

In the morning, I took out my camera.

Five minutes later, I went to the library to take a picture of Kaname leaning over a table. Ten minutes after, I took a good picture of Zero doing push-ups.

Five minutes or 9:00A.M-Kaname smacking a pencil against the wall.

9:10 (it takes time to focus the thing!)-Zero squatting over to retrieve fallen books (no comment).

9:50-Kaname yelling at someone for not being able to find the pills (did I mention nobody found them yet?).

10:24-Doctor's appointment.

12:05(lunch)-Zero blowing into a ranch bottle.

12:30-Kaname sipping on a straw because of a strained throat (oh jeez are these guys posing for blackmail or something?).

1:56-Test picture on Yuki's horror struck face when I let some snails loose to by some time (I have my sources).

1:57-A snail crawling up Zero's pants slowly (oh dear gad, make them stop!).

2:54-Kaname trying to get away from some fan girls (that better not be too disgusting!). 3:44-Zero running (perfect).

5:10-A face snap of Zero's annoyed expression (A.K.A-NOW).

"What are you doing?" he demands.

I smile, pushing the camera against my collarbone. "Taking pictures, is that against school policy?"

"Actually, yes," he mutters, snatching for the camera. I take a hurried step back.

"Hey, my Mom asked me to do this!" I whine.

The gates open up, and the girls start screaming. It's the weekend, yet some were going to town because of some business. Richard comes out, spotting me and waving. I smile and wave back. Like I said before, he's annoying _at times_. I skip after him and cling to his arm, nervously glancing back at Zero. Richard notices and smiles. "You okay?"

"I'm going to be dead in about an hour," I mutter.

Unfortunately, Zero reads lips. "ANN! COME BACK HERE WITH THAT CAMERA!"

I scream and run ahead, Richard chasing me in a pursuit to know why Zero has suspicion. Kaname soon follows after realizing something. I'm screaming, I'm running, not a good mix when screaming includes loosing air. I reach the gates after five minutes and jump, landing on my feet and dashing across blocks to Calibri's house, jumping through the door and shutting it quietly, hoping they wouldn't hear where a slam came from. I rush to Calibri's room and pound on the door.

"CALIBRI, I GOT THEM!" I yell.

He comes out, smiling. "That's great, because I got the video somewhat done with some Photo bucket pictures off of the internet."

"Where else would you-never mind just HURRY UP!"

He takes the camera and hurries to work. I scribble down E-Mails and the school website just in case. I'm SO dead!

FIRST RESULT

I check my E-Mail once more for the week. My eye is bruised because I ran into Zero, which I started crocodile bawling and they heaved me back here, thinking I was just going to tell Mom some lie. After I promised no lies (verbal at least), they started trusting me more (suckers). Sure, Zero is the sexiest guy I have ever seen, but he still P*SSED me off. I type an E-Mail to Dad, saying that I need a candlestick and some form of hyper kid, which he immediately responded with:

'_Not in the century, young lady. I'm too focused on this monstrosity!'_

I mean, huh? The computer beeps and I click 'Send/Receive'. I find two new E-Mails, both from Calibri's address. I click the first, which says 'GAY PORN' for some reason. I mean come…AHHHH! I shut my eyes. This is horrible! Funny, but horrible! Ugh, no wonder why Calibri's the whack-job; he actually knows this…EWWWWWW! UGH! THAT'S NASTY! I wish I could turn it off, but if I do, then I can't E-Mail Mom, and I'd like to have something against Zero and Kaname. I sigh and keep it up. EEEEEEEEPPPP! UGH! NASTY! WHAT THE F*CK? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES ARE MELTING! YUCK! EW! EW! EW! !

(Insert Time Passing here)

I'm panting. That was the MOST DISTURBING VIDEO EVER! I mean, the ranch bottle? DON'T GET ME STARTED! Okay, I thought with those running pictures he was going to do something OTHER than what he did. The push ups were expected the way they were, so that must mean I'm sick partially. I click on the other which says 'Your welcome'.

_Hey,_

_I'm sorry if the video scares you, it's just the best I could come up with (I had to look stuff up and ask my parents; that was the torture) _[at least he thinks it's so]_. Anyways, so here's a special version that's a bit cut back, and the ranch bottle is instead a-_

The computer sputters and breaks down. I smack it on the side, stand, and then repeat it three or four times. Well, I lost the director's special version and pretty much my only contact with Mom and Dad. Zero runs in, red in the face. "ANN YOU MOTHER F*CKING WHORE!"

He's angry. "What?" I squeak. "Do you really think I would want to see that?"

He charges and I dash past, running into Kaname. He's angry as well. Gulp.

END RESULT

"Well, it can always get worse," Mom pats my foot cast.

I wince. I think that's her own version of torture is to be nice. Richard pats my head cast. "Ouch." Dad pats my knee cast. "Ouch." Yuki pats my shoulder cast. "Ouch!" Al pats my stomach cast. "Ouch!" Zero, behind Yuki, comes up and the others get out of the way. Kaname comes up, smiling. This-Zero slams both fists down hard on my rib cage. "OW!"

**Moral of this chapter (it is SO not over): Don't get caught in taking pictures, only for those pictures to be sent to E-Mails where people can see that the only camera that could have taken them is from the one caught (me).**

**Side Moral: ZERO HURTS!**


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

PLANNING

One, two, three, one, two, three; that's how the rhythm of my crutches work. I scowl while thinking of an even worse come back, which I say is hard. I mean, I already pulled out the gay card, what else can I do? I 'crutch' into my classroom, climbing up to the only available seat, since the teacher's in the middle of a lecture. It's a good thing he's an understanding one towards me, since I have several problems of my own, one being the present situation. I gulp when I stand next to it; I can tell why it's abandoned in the first place. I sit down regretfully, keeping my eyes off of the one next to me. As I struggle to hear (Kaname and Zero can box ears _hard_), I gulp here and there because of some misunderstandings. I hear 'Eat babies at dinner' and I convince myself he meant 'Beet (she loves beets, so everyone calls her that [bro's girlfriend, human girlfriend]), maybe Mat Sinner', since I think we were talking about partners for some project. I gulp. The guy next to me better not…wait…he better be my partner.

"Ann, you're with Leo," the teacher sighs.

I raise a brow and cup the outside of my ear. "What did you say? I'm sorry, but _someone _boxed my ears."

The teacher smiles at my sad companion's expression. "Z-E-R-O."

I smile. Yep, this is going to work out perfectly.

(Insert Time Passing here)

"What exactly are we supposed to do with _that_?" I ask, leaning on one of my crutches.

Zero sighs. "It's supposed to be a baby."

I laugh. "Oh this is going to be fun."

He glares at me. "Shut it, Ann, you're fat mouth got you in the ER in the first place!"

I smirk. "Oh whatever _Mrs. Kuran, _think what_ you _want_._"

He stands and I hold up the other crutch, using it to my offensive defensive. He sighs and sits back on the couch. Just to think that tomorrow's the start of yet another weekend and we have to do this thing. He pokes the potato bag with the diaper, which I secretly snap a picture to tick him off. He glares and takes the bag, hurling it at me. I take a picture of that and smirk, hobbling backwards for the door. He growls.

"Don't you dare," he threatens.

I smirk and flick through the pictures, finding the ranch bottle. Oh yeah…I shudder and drop my crutches, my knees buckling and my calves feeling like CR*P. Well, if you're wondering what I'm going to do, still working on it.

(Insert Time Passing here)

"Aido, you're working with Ruka."

You know, it sucks I have to do this project _twice_. I sigh and tap the desk. Richard, who always sits next to me, pats my back and glares at Kaname. I bite my lip. I take out my sketch pad or 'scheme pad' and open to the first page, since I usually either get some other paper or make the plans in my head. I start doodling ideas and my ears prick up slightly.

"Ann, you're with Kaname."

I scream and duck under the desk, Richard standing SUPER pale. "U-uh, can't you pair her with someone else?"

"I'm sorry, but that's the pairing."

Great, both enemies as my project partners, and this stands for the _whole year _as I found out. Well…I take the pad and stare at my doodle of two potato bags. This might not be super good…but it'll give me a start.

(Insert Time Passing here)

"I'm sorry my babies," I sigh, inserting a whole load of sugar explosives into each project.

Okay, remember that last bit about stealing the tablets (still not found)? Well, nobody ate the sugar explosives, so I'm just using them like this as a sort of plan B if you will. I sew them back up and stick a note on each, saying Kaname stole Zero's project and Zero stole Kaname's. I have no idea why, but it works for me. You see, they'll fight, and I'll take pictures, and Calibri, my new friend, will edit somehow (I will request for limited sickness for both our sakes). I mean, it's better than white pants at a fountain (I still wonder why he had those on after I told him about the see through disadvantage). I stare outside and my throat burns slightly. Is Zero on patrol? Ugh…how can I keep them hidden for this long? I sigh. Might as well earn their trusts first before I give them the potato bags, right?

RECOVERY OF BLOOD TABLETS

FIRST RESULT

I heave the bag with my back, which hurts. No matter what, I can't seem to find the stupid way to lift with the arms, I mean is that supposed to change or what? I sigh and kick Kaname's dorm door roughly. He answers and blinks, trying to shut the door immediately after, but I kick it again. "Please, Kaname, I found the tablets!"

He stops. "What?"

I gesture to the bag and he rushes at it, opening it to every pill I stole. "I found them in Zero's closet."

He glares up. "Yeah right Ann!"

I sigh. "Look, would you take a break for a second? Why would anyone want to hide them there? I mean, how would you without him finding them?"

He blinks and stands. "Huh, maybe I _should _trust you more…"

Honestly, I smile out of the gesture. At least some sexy guy doesn't now totally hate me.

END RESULT

I walk next to Kaname to Zero's dorm. I'm not sure how this is going to prove myself correct, but hey, I just have to pray. In the dormitories, he knocks on Zero's door and Zero answers, his glare narrowing at me. "Whatever she said is a lie, I can tell you that right off the bat," Zero growls at Kaname, still facing me.

"Oh, so you expect me to believe that she would hide all the blood tablets in your dorm?" Kaname snaps.

Zero laughs. "Okay, nice joke Kuran."

Kaname doesn't laugh. "Look here, Kiryu, and see if it's funny!"

Zero looks in the bag and the smile is removed. "And what proof do you have that it was in my room?"

My camera beeps and I smack it hard. Jeez, that thing got me in trouble once already. Kaname snatches the camera and looks through, raising a brow at the picture of the flying potato bag baby. Then, he shoves the camera to Zero. Okay, huh? "See? The proof is right there!"

I walk next to Zero and look at the picture, obviously NOT by me, but they apparently can't tell. It's the bag, on the top shelf, at the very back. There are a few spiders, some webs, and some picture of Zero and Yuki when they were obviously younger. I raise a brow and look at Kaname. "Okay…"

Kaname raises a brow as well. "What? Did you NOT take this picture?"

I nod. "Must've been someone who knew about the tablets' location," I shrug.

He glares at Zero. "I guess we have enough proof."

Kaname pushes up his right sleeve and charges at Zero, in which he tackles him and they start fighting. I sneak over to the cabinet and glance in. There's a note, saying that Kaname stole Zero's project. Okay…I think I have a second personality. I see another and take that.

_Hey sis_

How I love my brother at times.

STOLEN PROJECTS

FIRST RESULT

I sift through my stuff in a rush, causing a loud ruckus. Honestly, I'm not trying to create a crime-scene for the stolen potato bags, but I'm looking for my phone. I want to call Dad about how to stage a robbery like this, but I don't have to have that help if one of them comes in by chance. I just hope they do, so they can help me FIND MY F*CKING PHONE! Jeez, I have a lot of personal stuff on their! I grunt and throw something against a door. Said door opens and Zero comes in, eyebrows furrowed.

"What the F*CK is going on?" he growls, being on patrol with several bandages.

I look up, panicky. "I can't find them!" I scream. "I can't find my phone or the projects!"

He gaps. "YOU LOST THE PROJECT?"

I rush to him and shake his shoulders roughly. "I DID NOT LOOSE HALF MY GRADE!"

He blinks, obviously trying to gather some common sense to believe me. Then I let him go and he helps me search, frantic. Then he pauses. "Wait, did you say 'projects'?"

I freeze and nod. He grabs my shoulders, making me immediately widen my eyes, and turns me, shaking me roughly. "WHO'S THE OTHER PARTENER?"

I blink. Oh SH*T I didn't hide Zero's! That's bad on all levels! "Kaname Kuran!"

He slides his hands rapidly down from my shoulders to my wrists, releasing my right and turning, dragging me out the door. We keep running for quite some time until we barge into the dorms, that being 100% Zero's idea, and both speed to Kaname's room, not minding the awaking vampires in the middle of…late Saturday. Zero bangs on Kaname's door (now he decides to have some manners) and Kaname flings the door open, furious.

"WHAT?" he demands, then notices my pale face. "What's wrong with you?"

I look up, not faking the quivering. "Uh…" I point to Zero and then my wrist, which is now clawed.

Kaname glares up at Zero. "What do you want, and why did you have to drag Ann all the way?"

"She lost our projects," Zero simply states.

Kaname's eyes widen and stares down at me, his eyes full of…something I can't really say is fear or 'how the'. He grips my shoulders, completely forgetting the wrist and shakes me roughly. "HOW COULD YOU LOOSE THE PROJECTS?"

I gulp. "Easy, forget where I put them."

He groans and leads us in, all three of us searching high and low. Nope, no projects anywhere. I gasp and run out, heading for Richard's room. He _has _to tell me before I explode! I burst in and he yelps, making me scream and run out, shutting the door. Do you know what he was doing? Rocking his project to sleep that's what he was doing! I rub my eyes. Is that creepy to you, or is it just me? I shudder and open the door again, slower this time so he would know to stop. He's standing, the 'baby' in a crib. I sigh and shake my head at him.

"Really Richard," I sigh, "first it's my project, now it's yours."

He blinks and offers the baby to me. "It's not mine."

I sigh and push it back to him. "I just needed to know where it was. Besides…" I grab his shirt, pulling him down to meet my panicky gaze, "WHERE'S MY PHONE?"

He blinks, and then offers me his own project. "In here."

I grab it and look for something to get my phone out. I find a small patch and rip it, my phone underneath. I retch it out and throw the bag at Richard, hugging my phone. "THANK YOU!"

"Well, you needed a way to have the crime scene," he shrugs.

Man, he's the best-worst brother ever. I run out and slam into a panicky Zero (man everyone needs a chill pill huh?). He lifts me up by the shirt, bringing me to his face. "DID YOU FIND IT?"

I shake my head. He drops me and clutches his head. His wide, sexy purple eyes are fearful, and that bothers me. He's supposed to be sexy, not panting and wheezing like some sick child! I sigh and stand, hugging him suddenly. "We'll find Zia."

He stops and pushes me away, staring at me with confused eyes. "You named our project Zia?"

"Zia means wheat," I shrug.

He sighs and falls to his knees, head in his hands. "I'm doomed!"

Kaname follows, blinking at Zero and looking pleadingly at me. "Please tell me you found it!"

"He," I correct, "and no, I didn't find Wheaton."

He blinks. "You named out project Wheaton?"

"Wheaton means 'Supplement of Wheat'!" I smile.

He sighs and also falls on his knees, head also in hands. "I'm dead."

Okay, does anyone else think he's being a copycat?

END RESULT

After a few days and the project nearing an end, I decided to earn yet more trust and run everywhere to create an alibi. Then I went back to Richard's, grabbing the 'baby' and shifting everything in there to make it look like it was searched. It's Saturday, a week from the panic. I go to Yuki's dorm and tear up the boards, retrieving the Kaname-Ann project and exiting. I repaired the boards of course. I put them both under the coffee table in the Headmaster's home, which I'm perfectly welcome in (Kaien knows my dad). I run out and tell depressed Zero and depressed Kaname to meet me there, which now, I wait. After fifteen minutes, they arrive, still depressed apparently.

"What?" Kaname grunts.

I go under the table and push out Zia and Wheaton. Both 'Fathers' gasp and run to them, picking them up and hugging them. I gag under the table. I remind myself of the whole scheme and decide, why not? I snap a quick picture and roll out from under. They sit down, smiling at me. "Where were they?" they ask in unison.

I gulp. I didn't think of that. "Uh…"

Richard runs in, carrying both notes (I think this is going to be entertaining). He's panting and fake wide eyed. "Hey…I found these notes and…oh, you found them!"

Kaname blinks and Zero stands, still cradling Zia. "What notes?"

Richard passes them to Zero and Zero hands Zia to me, staring down at the note. He crumples it up and glares at Kaname. "YOU!"

Kaname stands, handing Wheaton to me. "What?"

Zero shoves the note in Kaname's face and Kaname grows pale. "I didn't write this!"

Did I mention that impersonating someone's handwriting is a specialty? "DON'T LIE TO ME!"

"I DIDN'T WRITE THIS!" Kaname roars. I take the other note and skim it, so they wouldn't ask how I knew it was bad. I gulp and hand it to Kaname, who accepts it and also shoves it in Zero's face. "EXPLAIN THIS KIRYU!"

Zero and Kaname start fighting, and a small click echoes. I turn to Richard. I smirk and start taking pictures with him, not forgetting Zia and Wheaton. Oh Calibri is going to _love _this. And…I think I'm going to start my own company; The Siam's Pranks For Hire.

**Moral of the Chapter: Don't make Kaname and Zero panic, otherwise you're shoulders and other body parts they might grab WILL hurt next morning.**


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

Richard watches the door as Calibri puts together a stream of the video and, well, it's weird. I pat Zia's head as she rests on my lap and Wheaton's as he's cradled in my left arm. I get a few odd glances from Calibri, but none of less, I'm winning! WOHO! After he puts it on the e-mails, I leave, carrying my babies with me, since it is late Saturday, only hours from…that.

ANN'S SUICIDE

FIRST RESULT

I roll up my sleeves and change Zia's 'diaper'. I wrinkle my nose in fake disgust, having a little fun pretending to be a mommy without the constant crying and whining and…OH THAT'S GOOD!...Uh…that sounded wrong didn't it? Well, what I mean is, neither Kaname nor Zero like loud sounds, right? In fact, nobody really does…I shake my head and dump the diaper, turning a little then staring, brows furrowed, into the trash can with the 'diaper'. I pick the diaper out (remember, it's a potato bag we're talking about) and blink in astonishment. Well, would you be surprised if there was something on there? I squint. I scream and drop it back, holding little Potato Bag Zia to my chest, crocodile crying. Zero runs in and raises a brow.

"What the…" he blinks. I 'sniffle' and stand, walking out to the window and opening it. I lean over the edge to see if the drop is really deep (this'll give him the worst heart attack since that last video) and start climbing out, Zero running for me. "HEY ANN CUT IT OUT!"

I slam the window shut and start faking a depression problem (which reminds me…). I take out pills I _originally _got to give to Zero 'if he wanted to commit suicide that badly', but no time like the present, right? I drop them on the edge and fall forwards, seeing the window open and Zero flash his head out, screaming my name. I smirk slightly. The look on his face is _so _worth it! I sigh and frown, falling into the tree canopy and slamming hard on the ground, Zia exploding from beneath me. The sugar explosives create this _huge _cloud, probably causing Zero to think that I'm…_bird gone bye-bye_. I stand up, a crick in the back of my neck. I stand and walk off, taking out some sowing kit my mom stuffed into my suitcase 'for emergencies only'. Well, does squishing your potato bag baby count as an emergency?

END RESULT

I walk into my dorm to see Yuki sobbing her heart out, Zero rocking back and forth, and Kaname leaning against the wall, face in hands. Richard is also crying, but even I can tell their SUPER fake. I sigh silently and walk out. Well, I doubt it's going to hurt them if I'm gone for a few days, right? Honestly, I think they're crying for Zia.

THE LESBIAN TRIO

FIRST RESULT

I tap my foot impatiently on the ground of Calibri's room. Trust me this kid has _nothing _other than the videos to entertain me. I'm his 'Beta', whatever the F*CK that means. 'Evil Angel' by Breaking Benjamin rings throughout the room, and Calibri turns in his chair to me.

"The video is almost done!" he smiles kindly.

I sigh, "Why isn't it _done_?"

He frowns, blinking. "Because, you need to write the last part."

This gets me to jump up and run to the computer, typing at a speed you wouldn't really see in a normal kid.

HELP ME!

I've been blackmailed by these two whackos and they won't leave me alone! They think they're lesbians (and the way they act actually makes me question their manhood) and they're INSANE!

Calibri smirks and clicks 'Send to E-Mail list'. I smile and walk out, my gray hood down low on my face. 'Evil Angel' my as*, I'm pure devil baby!

END RESULT

I walk into the classroom early, making sure I'm not at all seen. I slip out the laptop I 'borrowed' and flip it open, hacking (okay, here's something to F*CKING think about to those who think this is wrong: Out of all of these recordings, where have you _NOT _seen me do _something _illegal? Blackmailing, abuse, stalking (in a way), 'suicide'…). OH SH*T! I just thought of something! Don't the police sue the living CR*P out of the suicidal G*TS family, the occasional case of living through and making that the G*T AND their family? Oh I hope they don't find out! Oh please dear G*D, do not let them find out!

I sigh and bang my head once against the desk. The door opens and someone sits next to me. I groggily look up to Yori, smiling down at me. Obviously nobody told her I tried to commit 'suicide'. "Good morning Ann-cha!" she greets. "Did you get a good night's sleep? I haven't really seen you in a few days!"

I smirk slightly. I open the laptop and flick to the video, her laughing all the way through. Once we finished after several humorous minutes, the door opens to someone sobbing. I look over to Yuki, frowning. Okay, I _really _need to follow some policy like in Middle School: The WORST Years of My Life, you know? I sigh and stand, waving like mad. Yori stares at me, but I do a quick right jazz hand to symbolize 'later'. Yuki sniffles and stares at me, blinking.

"A-Ann?" she blinks out the tears.

I nod. "Give me some credit for at least making that empty shell you call 'Zero' to show something we normal people call _emotions _and what the psychos, A.K.A me, call _fuzzy balls of ANNOYANCE._"

She smirks and hugs me, another body entering. I look over to a crying Zero who's too distracted with 'sorrow' that he doesn't notice me. Yuki smiles and taps him on the shoulder. "WHAT?" he screams at her.

I blink. I thought this guy hated me! "Can't you see her?" Yuki points to me.

Zero looks over and next thing I know, the living day lights are being squeezed out of me. "ANN! I THOUGHT YOU DIED!"

I laugh nervously, which makes him freeze and gradually, but gently, push me back. He blinks at me, tears gone and face completely 'you did something'. I gulp and move out of the way so he can see the screen. Yori also gulps and stands, clicking the 'Play' button. After a few minutes…he just stands, speechless and blank. Okay, where's the terror? Where's the anger? THIS WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT! "Are you okay?" I ask.

He points to the laptop. "Where…did this…come, from?"

I can hear the strain in his voice. I gulp. "Richard and I, why do you ask?"

Someone taps their foot at the door, and I turn to Kaname holding Richard by the back of his shirt. I laugh nervously. Next thing you know, there's a smoking hole in the middle of the blackboard at the front of the room, terrified shrieking, and multiple 'GET BACK HERE YOU F*CKING, SUICIDAL WHORE' comments ringing throughout the school, maybe even Japan. I trip on something and stare at what is what I fear it is. I gulp and look up.

"Mommy!" I squeak, very high-pitched.

**Moral of the Chapter: Don't go missing for days on end after faking suicide; vampire parents hate that. **


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

I whistle to a short and happy tune, waiting for Mom to stop scolding Zero for doing something COMPLETELY unnecessary. I got my scolding, and stinging nose yank, but hey, moms protect their young. Richard is next to me, Kaname next to Zero. Mom curses here and there (and she wonders where I learned my words from), also saying Zero can go suck Kaname's ****, which I find out of hand. I smirk though, since out of hand is my middle name (actually, it's 'Demon gone out of hand', but what's the difference?). I stand and skip away, or try to before Zero grabs the back of my uniform, and I mean the _back_. I scream and jump away, huddling against a wall.

"PERVERT!" I shriek, covering the area with the backs of my hands.

He's blushing slightly, but mostly because I doubt he meant it. Oh well, more teasing for me! "I didn't mean to grab you there!"

"WHERE THEN? THE 'V'?"

He gaps. "NO!"

Richard smuggles a laugh, receiving a cold smile from Mom. Man, those are worse than a cold glare from Ebenezer Scrooge. "LIKELY STORY YOU RAPIST!"

"Oh, _I'm _the rapist? How did you even know those things in that first video?"

I blink. "That wasn't me."

"BULLSH*T!"

"Hey!" I snarl. "I swear I just gave the guy the footage! It's not _my _fault you two have sick poses!"

They both grab my uniform, a safe area this time, and yank me up to their faces (now, who do you think I'm talking about?). "I SWEAR-"they start in unison, but Mom whacks them upside the head with her leather purse. Go Mom! "OUCH!" Kaname mumbles. "I'm sorry, but she's the troubled one here!"

"I don't give an F*CK, prissy!" Mom smiles coldly. "SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!"

"The only one in fact," I bash my eyes at Zero, who does something I _do not _expect; he drops me and just walks away. I sigh and skip after him, steadying my pace. "What is it you big bummer?" He just kept facing forward. "Hey, look, I'm sorry for 'over doing it' (HA!), but Zia's safe!"

He stops, and then looks down at me. "Why would I care about what happened to our project?"

I blink. "Weren't you crying for Zia a few nights ago?"

He sighs and starts walking away. I open my mouth to speak, but he already turns back, his face a strained placid. "We were crying for you, you ungrateful whore."

I stop, just standing there and watching his back move further and further down the hall. I have to apologize now, don't I? But, I can't make a chapter without some crisis, huh? That's it! I'll simply earn their trust, and do something mild like a prank. That way, they'll trust me again! But I can't apologize like everyone else…

OPERATION A.P.O.L.O.G.Y

A.

I stick my tongue into my cheek, bouncing on the balls of my feet while the cashier checked out the multiple fireworks, rockets, sandpapers, saws, hammers, masks, dresses, two tuxedoes, party hats, and several boxed items. Operation A.P.O.L.O.G.Y is underway, and A. is 'A special birthday'. Zero's birthday is coming up, so what better time than then to get his trust? Well, I hope he doesn't spend every birthday alone…like I do.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I smooth out the wrinkles in the dress, adding the finishing touches to the rockets and fireworks. I got permission two days ago from the Chairman to use them for Zero's birthday, as long as he told me when mine is. May 5, that's it. It's the most miserable day of the year for me. The only presents are air, life, and my own cake. I always cry for some reason when I place the candles on. This year will be my fifteenth birthday, or at least the next one. My parents are always busy that day, Al doesn't give a hoot, and Richard's been in school longer than I have. Enough of my B*TCHING and moaning, it's time to light these bad boys! I sigh. If only Zero were actually here. The tuxedoes are shrunk and on the rockets, the dresses on the fireworks. I pat my headband with the little white cloth rose and start lighting them. Kaname and Zero walk up from the trees, and grow wide eyed when the rockets fly up. They blink and stare up at the sky, and that's when the fireworks come up, forming my message.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

ZERO K!

I smirk and wipe my hands vertically on each other, walking away.

P.

'Picking the right number' is now under go. Now, I know it's an odd title, but trust me, this works often. It's Night Class, so I walk up to the empty seat next to Kaname before class starts, receiving a few gaping glances. Kaname stands to move, but I grab his sleeve, which makes that womanizer blonde stand up in a storm.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH KANAME?" he roars, most of the class still gaping at me.

I turn to him rapidly and flip him off (did you honestly think I went completely soft?). I turn back and tug on Kaname's shoulder, making him give me a side glare. "What?" he snarls.

I bite my lip momentarily. "Can you stay…please?"

He raises a brow and feels my forehead. "You don't _feel _warm…"

"Get off me you molester and just sit you're F*CKING as* down," I groan.

He smiles a bit, sitting down. What? He wouldn't have complied otherwise! "So, what do you want?"

"Pick a number between one and ten," I blurt.

He blinks. "Huh?"

"Pick a number between one and ten," I repeat.

"Why?" he raises a brow.

"Just comply before I start going into the B*TCH-whore, got that?"

He sighs and hesitates for a moment. "Okay, I got it."

"5."

"No."

I always pick five first out of the birthday situation. "9?"

"No."

"2."

"No."

"I said one through ten! Ugh…is it ten?"

He nods. "Now, what are you using that for?"

I hesitate. "I got it."

"You got what?"

"I got my number of course, Mr. Sexy!" This little comment makes some sandy haired chick glare at me. "Now guess!" He blinks. "Come on, Kaname!"

He sighs. "587-246-4773."

I smirk. "I was _thinking _of twisting that on you, but I mean the one through ten. That try doesn't count." I cover my mouth with my fist, fake coughing. "***COUGH, COUGH*** stalker ***COUGH, COUGH***"

He rolls his eyes and thinks. "8."

"No."

"7."

"No."

"9."

"No."

"10?"

"No."

"1?"

"No."

"2?"

"No," I'm getting irritated now.

"3?"

"OH MY G*D THERE AREN'T THAT MANY NUMBERS! WHY CAN YOU NOT GET THIS?"

He blinks. Yeah, I'm still the same, weird old me. "6?"

I bang my head on the desk. "TWO MORE NUMBERS! COME ON YOU CAN F*CKING GET IT THIS TIME!"

He thinks. "4?"

I sigh and slam my head into the table. "You…are…STUPID!"

Richard enters, staring at us. I walk over to him and slap him across the face. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Richard whines.

I jab a thumb back at Kaname. "That was for following the idiot."

I storm out, not really in the mood for class anymore.

O.

P. was a failure yesterday for sure. O, or 'Open doors for them' is now going. Since there are only two guys in two different classes included in this, I only have to follow them everywhere. Yippee. I walk into Zero's Dorm to find a green lump on the bed, mostly blanket. Now it is time to take some nice, well deserved revenge. Carefully tip-toeing up to him, I snatch out a horn and hold it against his ear. _This is for the ear-boxing._ I squeeze it hard, Zero jumping up and rolling off the bed, letting me drop the horn on his temple, a sore spot even still. He glares up at me and once he sees my grin, starts to cling to the bed, but I start pulling him off.

"HAVE SOME F*CKING MERCY!" he roars, trying to kick me off.

I laugh. "Oh come on! I just want to open doors for you all day!"

He stops, allowing me to yank him off and just stares at me. He puts a hand to my forehead. "You don't _feel _warm…"

This is a Déjà Vu moment. "Ugh…can't I be nice for once in my life you B*TCH?"

He rolls his eyes. "Start with the name calling."

"I'm not your F*CKING personal slave," I snap. "I'm just here to open doors." He sighs and stands to get ready, so I duck under the sheets. Oddly enough, they smell like…lavender. Oh jeez… "Hey, Zero…do you use special body wash or something?"

"No."

"Have you been outside recently?"

"No."

"Have you F*CKED Kaname yet?"

"NO."

"Then explain to me why your bed smells like lavender."

He hesitates. "Something Yuki gave me for my birthday."

"Was that a scented bra or a bikini?"

He yanks the sheets off of my head, glaring at me. "Look, I don't know what I did to make you hate me, but knock it off."

Okay, he clearly doesn't remember the pummeling he gave me my first day here when I walked into him and called him things. "Why? This is me, and shouldn't I be glad for who I am?"

"You're the only exception to that."

I sigh. He's never going to like me. I stand and brush the scent off of my skirts, opening the door so he can step out. I shut it behind us and lead him, ready to open doors.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

_Night Class_

I knock on Kaname's door. I open it to a fully dressed G*T reading Moby Dick. I sigh and walk over, grabbing both ankles and yanking him off the chair, making him loose his grip on Moby Dick and glare at me. "WHAT THE HE**?"

"Class is starting soon," I remind him, straining to keep my attitude in check. "I'm you're door holder for the night, so get up and start walking."

He blinks and sighs, picking up a bottle and dumping out purple liquid. I raise a brow as he sets it down, a small medicine cup three quarters of the way full. He takes my shoulder, forces my butt on the bed, and pours the thick concoction into my mouth. I swallow it regretfully and glare up at him. Well, this is going to be peachy.

L.

'Open doors for them' ended up with me breaking Kaname's nose, so I doubt that worked. L for 'Laughing fits' is now starting with a brand new day, the sun shining through my dorm window. Zia and Wheaton, though the project is officially over, rest in their corn husk cribs, their diapers gladly not containing anything. Remember that one when I was crying? Well, there was something in the sugar explosives that made…chocolate produce and…yeah. I rub my eyes and stretch, not in the mood to get up, so I rest back down. The door opens and I shoot my eyes open, sitting up and shielding my ears.

"DON'T YOU DARE, ZERO!" I scream with my eyes scrunched up tight.

A cold hand rests on my shoulder. "Calm down, it's just me."

I open one eye to Kaname. "And I should calm down, why?"

He smirks a bit. "I know you've been trying to be nicer, so I won't get angry. Now, what's today's duty?"

I smile slightly. "Laughing fits, if you must know."

He hesitates. "Is there something you're spelling out of this?"

"A special birthday,

Pick the right number,

Open doors for them, and now

Laughing fits."

He blinks. "What is APOL?"

I smirk. "You'll see. Now, do you know anything that'll make Zero laugh?"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I walk into Day Class, sitting next to a sleeping Zero. The teacher doesn't notice I'm late, so I smirk in short victory. Some look back nervously and cover their mouths when they see me, obviously realizing I'm up to something. I press a finger to my lips and slide out a horn, muffling my laughter. I squeeze it SO hard next to his ear that he falls back. I slide it across before the teacher turns over to the Class President, staring at Zero with 'Surprise'. The Class Pres blinks at the horn and the teacher storms up, dragging him out of the room and slamming the door, leaving the class with some free time to socialize. They smile at me and I poke Zero's ribs, making him glare at me with blood shot eyes.

"Why won't you just go away?" he hisses.

I blink. I've heard that a lot…I smile, hoping he didn't see my temporary moment of sorrow. "I talked to Kaname this morning, he was a complete D*CK!"

He cracks a grin. "Well, that's what he is."

I laugh along, even though it's not that funny. "Can you believe what he asked me?"

"What?" he's smiling wider.

I burst into laughter, covering my ribs. My idea is _really _not appropriate. "I can't say or my ribs will burst!"

"Oh come on tell me!"

I cover my mouth, my face growing red. Just because this is 'T' for you guys, I'm not going to tell you, but I'll just whisper it to him, K? I'm sorry, but hey, what can a person do with rules? A) Break them and B) P*SS all over, yeah, I know, but (shrug) what can I do? I go close to his ear and whisper a few really dirty things before he bursts into laughter. People, especially Yuki, stare at him with surprise, most fainting soon afterword. The teacher walks back in, and he has a hard time controlling himself. The teacher smiles at this, since he's always been a downer from what I've heard. During the whole class, I try to come up with ideas to get Kaname to laugh, but that's harder than you would think.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I enter Night Class, a big grin on my face. I have several pictures Zero let me take of him for the payment that I take plenty of pictures of Kaname he can dart or use as targets. I checked, and he _does _have a dartboard in his room. It's cool, but in his trash can I didn't fail to notice a darted picture of me. I laughed at that. I sit down next to Kaname, which he allows, and I start whistling. That's when he turns to me with an eye brow raised. I hear scratching of a chair against the floor and look down to see his chair legs retreating. I laugh. I wave the pictures and he stands, wide eyed, but I flip on over to see Zero's impersonation expression of if he was hit in 'that' area. He smirks and sits back down, accepting the pictures when I hand them to him. The rest, I guess, is self-explanatory, but let's just say, the pictures I got of Kaname were: his uvula, his (I took it by accident because his reaction made me fall backwards and the camera was directed at his lower body, so…), and they all the head shots were _purple_

O

It's the same thing as the last 'O', but I bet you the results are going to be different. Skip into Zero's room with headphones and some chick's 'IPOD' (bad choices of music may I say). I plop the headphones onto his head and flip to the song '7 Things' by Miley Cyrus before skipping back out of the door and turning to my remote. Well, let's just say there are more reasons Richard is the best bro ever. I press 'Play' and next thing I know, there's screaming in the room. Some boys come out and stare at me with the wide grin on my face, sitting in front of the door with some remote that says 'World Domination' on the back in big, white letters. I stand up and receive a short praise or two, since being in the Night Class even as half of my education gets me boys. I step to the other side of the hall, shoveling the remote in my bag and leaving my bag there, opening the door just as Zero ran out, the 'IPOD NANO' completely shredded. He glares at me.

"NOT FUNNY!" he yells. I smirk and wave the photos of yesterday Night Class in his face. He blinks and takes them, flipping them over and smirking, then chuckling at a few. On that accidental one, he frowns and glares at me. "You're still hanging that over my head aren't you?"

I shrug. "Well…" Might as well take the credit!

He sighs and blinks down at me. "So, what is your special task _today_?"

"Same as two days ago!"

He blinks. "Why?"

I stand behind him and start pushing him forward, looping a pack strap with my ankle. "Just go, I have other classes than just Day."

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Kaname is just waiting there, blinking at me. "What's today?"

I laugh nervously and hide the tazer. "Same as 'O'."

"Another 'O', huh, that makes it 'APOLO'."

I laugh a bit. "Like APOLO 11, but it's not the word."

He pouts slightly. "Huh, this is going to take a bit."

I smirk and as he walks to the door, when he's right there…

G

Today should be 'Get revenge', but I have to admit, I deserved that black eye for snapping Kaname's nose with the door. So, instead today is 'Great cooking skills!' Bad news: I don't know how to cook (this should be interesting). I walk into the Chairman's home, Yuki greeting me right then and there. She informs me that both Kaname and Zero are there, so I smile. I walk into the kitchen and start throwing random stuff together, which somehow leads to me making a Pop Tart and very carefully putting blood from the blood tablets in it. Remember at the beginning I was really bad? Well, I've put some thought to it and said to myself 'I can't be that rude or I'm going to be a complete nobody'. So, I decided to calm down for a bit, and if I'm annoyed, I will boost it up until I exact my revenge! (Evil laughter.) Okay, don't know where that came from. I walk to the table, Yuki keeping her promise of making sure that both boys were at the table. I skip over.

"Hey, I made you both breakfast!" I cheer.

Kaname stares at the plates. "A Pop Tart?"

I glare. "Okay, what were you expecting mister? A T-bone?" He rolls his eyes and I set down the plates, Zero completely astounded by his. He pokes at it and I swear it moves. I laugh nervously. "Was I not supposed to put that thing with the black rat head in it?"

That's when Kaname freezes in a bite and both push their plates away. Yuki rolls her eyes and walks into the kitchen. She walks back pale, with the empty yellow bottle with the big black rat head on.

Y

'G' was a total FAIL! Okay, now Kaname or Zero won't go next to me (P.S: This isn't an F*CKING diary, you pansies). 'Y' stands for 'Yakima' Okay, give me _some _credit for a _joke_, jeez! 'Y' actually stands for 'Yummy!' since the only thing I can cook is any desert. Pop Tarts aren't a desert, they're fluffy little goop pockets for breakfast that make you fat, deserts are delicious varieties for breakfast that make you fat. HUGE difference, you know? It's the day before Valentine's Day, so I'm just walking to the Moon Gate with my books when I see this mob of F*CKING school girls crying out names of male Night Class students. I blink and walk forward, thinking multiple insults that all include stalking and condoms. I stop behind a tree, Zero looking rather…sad…today. I know something that'll wipe that frown right off! I take the unused tazer (curse you Kaname) and sneak up behind him, mostly fighting through the girls pouting behind him. Once I'm behind him, and the girls winking at me, I shove the tazer into his back, pressing the button with full force and handing a girl a camera with the free arm as he jerks around, electric shocks shooting throughout his body. Once they get a clear picture, I release the button and he falls to the ground, limp. Yuki rolls her eyes and the girls run forward, in which I poke Zero's shoulder.

"Are you not sad now?" I ask in an innocent voice.

He pushes his torso up and glares at me. "Yeah, I'm not sad…I'M ANGRY!"

The girls freeze as I run to the gate, swearing for mother life. When Zero gets a hold of my uniform, I squeak and shove the tazer into his torso, the girls just _staring. _The gates open during the electric shocks and a hand gently removes the tazer from my hands. I turn to Kaname. "What's today, 'Tazer the living CR*P out of people?'?" Kaname asks sarcastically.

I shake my head. "Today's 'Yummy' since I can only make deserts." Before he opens his mouth to speak, "A Pop Tart is a goop pocket for breakfast that makes you fat. Desert is a delicious variety for breakfast that makes you fat. There's a _HUGE _difference."

He rolls his eyes. "So, what's the tazer for?"

I point to the glaring Zero. "He was sad, so I made him un-sad."

**Side Moral: Tazering Zero=Him strangling you**

(Insert Time Passing Here [LONGEST. CHAPTER. EVER!].)

"Well, that's all of the chocolates!" Yuki wipes her hands on her apron, observing all of the chocolates.

I feel at the big, red hand marks Zero left from when he was strangling me (did you think I was _kidding_?). I box the chocolates with a temporary speed before Zero appears, making me launch myself in one of the higher cabinets. I hear him sigh outside (did you think I would leave the door open?). "Ann, I'm not going to strangle you. Get out of there."

"YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER!" I scream through the wood.

The door tries to open, but I cling it shut. The next jerk is a bit more forceful, but I still hold on. That last jerk is the one that sends me toppling out, clashing into Zero, and landing with me on top of him. I blush. He groans. "Get off of me, you sick Son of a B*TCH."

I hop up and dance in a small circle. "Hey, hey, hey, Mr. SMEXY!" 'SMEXY' is when I cling to his waist. "How's my Prince Charming?"

"Aw!" Yuki sighs, smiling.

Zero sighs and tries to push me off. "Get off of me, you psychopath."

I grin into his shirt. "Now, now, what about my hug from you?"

This is when he holds a 'Bloody Rose' to my head. "GET OFF OF ME, YOU SICK SON OF A B*TCHY PSYCHOPATH!"

Touchy. I pry off and try to ruffle his hair, but a sting through my shoulder sends my arm straight down and my right hand on my left shoulder, sticky blood streaming through. Yuki is fighting Zero to put the gun down and I stare at him with wide eyes. "You…you tried to _kill_…me?" He just grits his teeth and tries his best to be gentle around Yuki. I get it, he didn't want Yuki to think we were a love pair; he love's Yuki. I stiffen. He doesn't…he doesn't want me to be in the way of him getting Yuki. My temper rises and I glare at Zero with teary eyes. "STUPID JERK! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!"

I run out. F*CK Operation: APOLOGY. F*CK it all. I just…I just want to be alone right now…

**Moral of the Chapter: When making an operation (the scheme), plan it out **_**before **_**you act and **_**do not **_**overdo a joke, people hate that if it screws with something.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

I remain in my room, girls obviously hearing about my outburst and knocking on my door, seeking permission to enter and 'just talk about it'. I'm here, face buried into my damp pillow. Zero tried to kill me, he should be in jail! I start to cry again and the door opens, the soft clomp-clomping of Richard's shoes echoing throughout the room. He sits next to me on the bed and pats my brown bob. "Hey, are you okay? Well, besides that you almost died…" I cry harder. "Oh come on! What do you want?"

I remember why I started the operation in the first place, to apologize. Zero was the ungrateful one, he was the one being mean, I just wanted a laugh, as payment for all my silent birthdays where I had to sing 'Happy Birthday' to myself and re-gift myself things. I cry harder, and the door reopens, a similar clomp-clomping echoing. Someone sits at the foot of my bed and pats my ankle, since it'd be a stretch to pat my head. I feel Richard stand. "Kaname-sema!"

"Ann, what's wrong?" Obviously Kaname hasn't heard.

I sit up, wiping my eyes with fury. "Zero tried to kill me."

"Well, I know he strangled you-"

"No!" I snap. "With his bloody rose in the kitchen about five hours ago!" (Now it's four o' clock.) I break into crying on my knees, and Kaname pats my head.

"Don't worry, it's just a grudge he has against vampires."

I sniffle and stare up. "What grudge?"

He smiles softly at my calming aura. "His parents were killed by a bad pureblood, and his twin went off with her."

I sniffle and wipe my eyes again. "Well, I bet you that they at least celebrated his birthday," I mutter bitterly, in what I think as inaudible.

He pats my shoulder. "You're family doesn't celebrate your birthday?"

Richard glares. "Of course they do!"

I jump off and stand, fists tight to my side and my face red and teary. "HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? YOU'VE BEEN IN SCHOOL FOR YEARS ON F*CKING END!" Richard takes a step back. "MOMMY AND DADDY ARE ALWAYS SO BUSY ON MAY 5 TO EVEN LOOK AT ME, BUT ON AL'S BIRTHDAY, THEY HAVE ALL THE F*CKING TIME IN THE WORLD! ONE YEAR, THEY EVEN DITCHED WORK TO CELEBRATE LITTLE F*CKING AL'S (deep breath before…) BIRTHDAY ('Birthday' was a shrill scream)!"

I kick the stand angrily and eye the window. I fall on my claves, crying with my arms limp to my side. Kaname sits next to me and pats my shoulder gently. "Hey, I'll celebate you're birthday with you."

I sniffle and look at him. "Really?"

He nods. "Since it is months away, I doubt we won't have enough time to plan the day." I smile. "Now, why don't we pay Zero a little visit?"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"What do you mean you didn't try to kill her?" Kaname snaps at Zero.

Zero blankly looks between my frozen figure, stuck in a gap, and Kaname's red figure. "I mean that I didn't try to kill her."

Kaname jabs a thumb at my shoulder. "Explain how she got that!"

"I shot her," he blankly answers. "I didn't kill her, nor did I intend to."

Kaname is now frozen in a gap. "That doesn't make any sense you idiot!"

Zero shrugs. "Not my fault you never heard of _hurt, but not kill_."

I shut my eyes and just walk down the hall. Right now, I'm tired, I'm bored, and I need to get a manner's book. I am NEVER pulling another joke again.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I sit in Day Class. It's Valentine's Day, and all the girls are chatting about their gifts before I walk in, which they all walk up to me, asking if I was okay. Mostly it's because of the bags, the bruises under the puffy eyes, and the extra paleness. I refuse to answer. I sit down blankly in a chair near the front and ignore all the stares. I never want to pull another joke, and there's only a limited possibility on how I can do that. The class starts, and I don't know if Zero is showing up. The teacher sends me several glances of pity, but I refuse to look up from my notes. I'm not going to be cheerful, playful Ann, but I'm sophisticated, obeying Anny. The period ends, and I am the first to exit. I bump into someone, but quickly retreat and walk high and mighty to the next class. That's when someone grabs my wounded shoulder and turns me around, bringing me face to face with Zero.

"Hey, what's with the moodiness?" he demands.

I shrug him off. "Why won't you just go away?"

He stumbles back at my repeating of his words. I storm away.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I sit on a tree branch, just watching the mayhem. Kaname looks up at me, mouthing 'come on', but I refuse. He sighs and walks up to Yuki, making several girls set off and start scolding Yuki. Yuki nods here and there and covers her mouth. "How awful!" I hear her say. Zero isn't far, so I guess he can hear. He sighs and walks over, hands in pockets as if he really didn't try to kill me.

"Hey," he greets. I don't reply, so he continues. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

I think about that grudge. "That day was your parents Death day, huh?" I whisper to nobody in particular.

He nods as if he heard. "You might not understand it, but hey, you have to know that people can't be particularly too glad if their parents were nice."

I shrug. "I know how it feels to be deprived of attention, that's it."

He blinks. "Wait, is that why you keep causing trouble?"

I shrug. "I seems to work on every day but May 5."

He blinks. "Your _birthday_?"

I nod. "Nobody ever celebrates it, but this year, Kaname's going to, and it's going to be the best, even if I can't think of anything yet. I never really went to parties, and I tried my best to avoid Al's."

He climbs up the tree to sit next to me. "Wait, so Al is…a brother I assume?"

I nod. "He's the youngest," I smirk at this add on, "and he has a crush on Yuki." That's when Zero's fist tightens around the branch until it snaps, both of us crashing down and Zero falling on top of me. I take out the tazer. I guess it wouldn't hurt to be fun. Well, it wouldn't hurt _me_. "RAPEST!" I taze him.

Kaname smirks and Yuki rushes over, helping Zero off before he becomes human…or vampire…bacon. I shove the tazer away and stand, remembering the chocolates and taking the boxes out. I hand one to Zero and walk over to Kaname to give him one. The girls start to scream, so I shrink and start to tremble. What am I doing wrong? Kaname smiles and kneels down in front of me, the girls really racking up the noise.

"Don't worry about it, but for the sake of the event," he smiles, "just wait in one of the emptier booths, okay?"

I nod and look around; all of them are filled. I look back at Kaname and he leads me, while he regretfully (it's one of those vampire things) accepts the other boxes. He sticks me outside the last booth since that's the only place I won't be clawed to death, and walks to collect any forgotten ones to avoid hassle. The womanizer, Aido, skids to a stop in front of me.

"Why hello!" he greets. "Got any chocolates for me?"

I step up, and from out behind my back, taze the living CR*P out of him. That's when an amused Kaname walks over, giving me plenty of time to taze Aido, and then gently tugs me away. "Save the tazer for an emergency."

I smirk. "If I claim he was trying to molest me, would that work?"

He ruffles my hair. "Strange, strange little Ann."

I taze him a bit. "I'm _not _little, Mr. Rainbow."

**Moral of the chapter: Tazing is F.U.N!**


	10. Chapter 10

_**HEY ALL LITTLE MONSTERS! Miss me? **_

_Chapter 10 (YAY)_

"Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah…" is all I'm getting from the Night Class teacher.

I yawn and take out the tazer to taze myself, but Kaname, who let's me sit next to him now, pushes it down so I wouldn't be able to. Richard is also just as bored, so I taze his neck for both our sakes. He jolts like a rubber doll, which I laugh, and falls back, the teacher staring at the tazer. Kaname puts his face in one hand and just looks down, shaking it back and forth, back and forth. Sort of regretting it, the teacher continues, a sudden jolt going down his spine and sending him flat on the floor, jerking and twisting with form spurting out of his mouth. The students, even the tazered brother of mine, all slowly turn to me, some clutching seats, one clutching a chair leg of his. I'm too busy trying to get the tazer to work properly. After I'm sure it'll work, I point it at the womanizer and it accidentally sends it to Kaname, who does the same exact thing. I gulp and laugh nervously, the Night Class all rising and glaring. Kaname recovers soon and sits up, slamming a palm on the desk and pushing himself up, shaking his head and everyone returns to their seats. He wretches the tazer out of my hand and tazers my neck with it, or tries to, but it ends up tazering the vamp with the orange hair…Kain I think? I smile in victory and snatch it back, packing it and we wait for the teacher to recover. That's when the door opens and we all look up at the clock to see class is over, well, this part of it at least. Two boys walk down and carry the teacher off to the infirmary, the other teacher walking behind the desk.

He's some guy with shoulder black hair and one blue eye, the other covered by some black patch that covers pretty much all of the upper right part of his face if you were him. "Hello, I'm Toga Yagari. I'll be your temporary lecturer for this Ethics Class. Nice to meet you vampires…"

"Isn't 'Yagari' the number one vampire hunter now?" Rima, a respectable vampire I will not be torturing, asks?

I raise my hand, but Kaname pushes it back down, knowing me full well. Unfortunately for him, Yagari saw that. "Yes?"

"Two questions," I say, "the first is: are you a pirate?"

Richard covers his mouth to muffle the laughter. Yagari raises a brow and shakes his head. "No…why?"

"Oh because I have an uncle who has an eye patch and he claims to be a pirate," I admit (I don't lie about Uncle Whack), "I just wanted to see if you were sane."

"The second?" he sighs.

Kaname glares at me as if to say not to, but I ignore it full well. "What's Ethics?"

Almost every Night Class student causes an uproar, but Yagari raises a hand, "Ethics, according to the dictionary, are the moral principles that govern a person's or group's behavior, or, the moral correctness of specified conduct. Any other questions before we start?"

I raise my hand again, but Richard _and _Kaname force it down. Yagari, probably thinking this was good torture for them, nods his head at me. I open my mouth to speak, but Aido, the womanizer, mouths 'ask, and you're dead', so I replace it. "Can I taze him?" I point to Aido.

He nods and I run over, Aido trying to escape but I tazer his neck until he's just like the teacher. I smile with pleasure and skip back to my seat, holding the tazer with great pride until it sets off accidentally, tazering Kaname in the eye. I gulp and run out, Kaname in close pursuit. I run out of the building and smack into Yuki ducking behind her and soon, Kaname and I are running in circles around her until she grabs both our collars, only resulting in her acting like a pinwheel.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

The Day Class is chatting away, not many of us here. Yuki has a cast on her arm thanks to Kaname and I, and she's just sighing and blinking, that's petty much it. I'm next to her with a screwdriver and several nuts, bolts, small batteries, big batteries, and chargers, trying to see what the F is going on with my baby. I pick out a lettuce leaf, which I have no idea how _that _got in there, and pick through continuously, the door opening and me turning, hoping it was Zero. It is actually a very P*SSED Kaname, a lot of bandages over his eye. He walks over, girls restraining themselves due to his rare annoyed expression (not around me though) and drops a bag in front of me before exiting. I raise a brow and examine the bag, realizing it was the same fabric Zia and Wheaton are made…of…gulp…I open the bag cautiously and widen my eyes. Let's just say…now I know what potato bag guts look like in a huge mess in a potato-bag-skin-made bag.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I poke Zero's shoulder, only resulting in him grunting. I poke it again and he grunts louder. I growl and his eyes shoot open, turning quickly and jumping out of bed, wrestling on his morning clothes for his torso, just so he can get to asking why I'm there and what torture I have in store. I cover my eyes, just so he has an opportunity to get his morning, or afternoon now, pants on and he pries them off, also noticing I haven't been talking smack like usual yet. I guess he notices the slight puffiness in my eyes from all that fake crying I had to pull in front of Yuki to convince her to talk to Kaname about the murder of Zia and Wheaton.

"What happened?" he blinks, not really looking like he's sympathetic, more like curious.

I hold up the bag and he takes it, looking in and raising a brow. "The red stuff is food coloring apparently," I mutter aimlessly.

He pats my head and yanks up my wrist, forcing me to stand fully. "Come on, I'll help you burry them."

And so, walking out of the boys' dormitories, Zero carries Zia and Wheaton out and I quickly make a simple, small coffin out of a tree I knock down (vampire). We put them in (or the bag they're in at least) and start digging a hole in front of a tree. I place them and Zero replaces the dirt, patting the ground with the shovel. I take out a knife and carve the following into the tree they are buried in front of:

**Zia and Wheaton **

**Potato Bags**

**Half-siblings**

'**Son' and 'Daughter' of Ann Siam**

**Murdered by a PR*CK**

**Will be dearly missed**

Zero, under my force, goes along with me in a moment of silence and I say amends, even though Zero looks like he's going through slow and painful torture. Once I finish up, we walk to the Moon gates, although I cling to Zero in an attempt not to go. But, once I see Kaname, I snap and tackle him, tazering him in worst places than the eye. Zero, just laughing, is scowled at by Yuki, who tries to pry me off. Eventually, it's an hour and I'm _still _at it, and the teachers arrive, just as unsuccessful. Even if Kaname is a pureblood, it'll have to take more than an army of purebloods to tame me now. Once I tazer a place that would really hurt a boy, that extremely hurts him, Yagari comes up and forces Zero to help him pry me off. Unfortunately, that works. Kaname is on the ground, staring up at the sky with wide eyes and bleeding in a lot of places. Zero pats my head and Yuki drags me off next to a tree, kneeling to my height and asking what was wrong. So I explain and she pats my head, standing and helping Kaname up, just to get him to the infirmary. I stomp off to Night Class where there's a whole bunch of angry vampires, Richard of course not like that anymore and trying to defend me against several vampires. I scowl and sit at the very top row, at the far left next to the window, leaning my head against it.

Don't ask me why I did that, because even I couldn't tell you why I attacked him for potato bags, but I'm weird like that. Well, maybe just to save everyone the sake of having to deal with me, I'll just spend my fifteenth birthday alone, alone as always and not even bother with the world. I look at one of my portable calendars to find it's February 28, and it's less than three months to my birthday.

**Moral of the Chapter: NEVER try to get revenge on me.**

**Side moral: Never let a tazer malfunction, you'll regret it.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

**March 1_9_**

Truth be told, I've been too busy finding ways to pick up my game to talk to anyone, so I often get glances from Zero and frigid glares from Kaname, seeing his little wee-wee is still burnt up from the 'stun gun' (I don't know what the F*CK was wrong with the people who named tazers and stun guns). Now, marking the date above (the guys I paid slanted the nine, so I tortured him with Dora the Explorer while I ate popcorn), I date back to DAY 1 (Chapter 1) to that horse feed. Hmm…

CRACK HEAD HORSE

FIRST RESULT

I do a 360 turn like I have been doing every thirty seconds. Honestly, I don't think jamming a Sex Doll in Zero's closet to jam it is going to stop him from running amuck after yours truly in his sleeping wear. I check for that needle of marijuana to check if it's full, then the smoke pellets, my ninja costume, and finally a fake bomb trigger incase Zero calls the police. They know me pretty well, but it's one terrorist threat after another if you ask them (from me of course!). I tip-toe into the stables and observe the multiple horses, some black, some white, some tan, some black and white, some tan and black, and some tan and white. I check the name's for WHITE LILY, since Richard said that's the name of Zero's favorite horse before chose not to talk. Not long after I take a first step, a white horse (I'm stupid) neighs and kicks up, kicking down on my face and causing most of the cheek to rip off. I curse and inject it into the knee, P*SSED with it. He bucks and I gulp, checking the name: CRACK. Okay, wrong illegal drug.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"RUN!" I scream, racing the horse to the school building. "DRUG ADDICTED HORSE ON THE LOOSE!"

Call it animal abuse if you will, but again, in what chapter haven't I done something illegal? I slam through the school building doors and realize it's Day Class. I shrug momentarily and speed off through the halls, the horse still out for blood. Okay, all I did was stab it with a needle and feed it an illegal drug, what's so bad about that? I slam through the class doors and duck as the horse leaps over me, Zero cursing loudly and jumping off to at least attempt to control the bloody murderer. Unfortunately, the needle dragged through the skin, so the mark is noticeable. The room is evacuating, but before I can crawl out, Zero grabs my ankle and hoists me upside down, dangling in the air. I grow red in the face, one because the blood is flowing to my head, and two, I'm wearing a _skirt_. I'm _upside down_.

"WHAT THE F*C DID YOU DO TO WHITE LILY?" he scolds, shaking me around a bit.

I try to scream. "PERVERT!"

He drops me and I roll down the steps, slamming into the desk and my 'stun gun' falling to the floor in front of me. What if it malfunctions? I look to see some guy's bicycle magazine and see it's hidden with Great Expectations. I also see the magazine is hiding some porno, so I race to it, grab the porno, and dodge a bullet from the Bloody Rose, a kick from the psycho horse, and shove two pages of nothing but boob into his face, making him yelp and swat it away. I laugh and run out, before running into Kaname walking rather painfully. I step back and see Zero is walking down, reloading the Bloody Rose. I gulp and smirk at a new idea. I grip the top of my skirt and before long, Richard runs in. Oh great I can't pull my skirt down now! I grunt and just pray for life, but then White Lily bucks over and I grab the reigns, heaving myself on and the horse galloping out. Zero and Kaname are chasing me, but we're ahead, so we stop at a drinking fountain to get White Lily a drink. I think those drugs are wearing off with all the activity. That's when I get on and someone tries to pull me down, but I kick back. I look back to Kaname, Zero wrapping his arms around his wrist and pulling. I snap a picture of that odd teamwork for later, but it only makes them angrier. Next thing I know, White Lily looses balance, and she topples left onto Kaname, Zero, and my left leg. I gulp.

I didn't want White Lily to die, but you know what you have to do: you have to kill a horse once he's on his side. Zero's absolutely speechless, Kaname biting his lip, and before long I think Zero tries his hand at yanking my head off. "YOU STUPID B*TCH!"

I sigh. Well, no time like the present. I inject Zero with Pot and Kaname with something that says DON'T GO NEAR, and work on pushing the horse up, White Lily chomping on my hair. "HEY!" I shout, trying to get my hair out of his mouth. Next thing I know, there's stinging on my scalp and he has a mouthful of hair that looks an awful lot like mine.

END RESULT

"WHERE'S WHITE LILY?" Zero cries, and I mean actually cries. "WHERE IS SHE!"

Jeez, he treats her like a live person. "Alive," Yuki comforts, "Ann helped her up."

At least she doesn't reveal my secret, seeing I have to tell her otherwise she's not trusting me. Zero blinks at me and points a bandaged hand. "You?" I nod. "You helped White Lily?" I nod again. "YOU?" I take out the stun gun and shoot his twisted ankle with it, making him howl with pain.

Kaname is in the same room, sighing and starring at the ceiling. I twist my feet and look down, shifting constantly. Yuki pats my back and I walk out, my left shin and lower being dragged seeing they were crushed between Kaname and a several hundred pound horse. I sigh. Now the only problem with my life is figuring out new ideas and what random morals to teach myself. I snap my fingers and beam with pride as I walk out of the ER.

**Moral: Horses should eat less.**

**Side Moral: Horses shouldn't take drugs or alcohol.**


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

Okay…it's been a month now and Kaname with Zero _just _got out. It's Day Class, so the first torture I have to face is most likely with Zero. I call my special friend in the business and complain about the needles looking so much alike that I injected White Lily with the wrong drug, so the plan went hey-wire and I deserve $105 back. Of course, he's putting up quite the fight. I sigh and pick up another phone. "You made a big mistake buddy." I hang up and dial 9-1-1 on the other, since I'd rather have it on Richard's phone than my own to keep myself safe. "Hello, I'd like to report illegal drug selling forcefully to kids."

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I run into the room, panting and sweating like F*CKING crazy! Yuki and Yori are next to each other, but everyone is here save the teacher, so I'm stuck with…gulp…the seat next to _**him**_! I groan and stomp over, taking out the $500 I got from when the police came earlier (serves the B*STERED right if you ask me). Zero growls and snatches it, returning half to me. "Hey!" I squeak.

I can see the pulsating veins beneath the forehead already. "You drugged _my _horse," he snaps, "so I get half."

"NO YOU DON'T!" I scream, tugging at the money, eventually proving a worthy opponent and making Zero tug back. "IF ANYONE GETS MONEY, IT'S THE HORSE!"

Eventually the door opens and Zero yanks the money hard enough to send me flying forward over his lap and as* on the floor, the room just staring. I blink thrice and start again, digging my heels between floorboards now. Zero is resisting, the teacher coming up and leaning against the desk over to just get a closer look, actually not planning to stop it (best teacher EVER). Yuki is too stunned to stop us (BEST FRIEND EVER). That leaves everyone just too scared of me and my 'stun gun' (tazer, I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!). That's when I grip one 'POT' labeled needle and inject it into his neck. Hey, I guess I didn't need the money back after the frozen look on that face.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Night Class, I have my $500 (now $600 for pick-pocketing Zero [who carries that much?]), and a death wish from Kaname! Yeah. Whoop-whoop. Who ever actually cheered for that is just a jerk, got that (linkinparkfan9799, the honors) **(thank you…clears throat…SUPERCHICK11 WE'RE LOOKING AT YOU)**. Anyways, I walk in with my textbooks and plop down in my new usual seat of the top row, the very most left chair. Kaname has a sort of neck wrap, seeing that the back of his neck got a lot of damage from having me on him (not fat, just a hard fall and a HORSE). Ruka is glaring, so I sigh and take out the stun gun (the actual thing now called a TAZER by someone in the past (I need to sue them)), and aim it at her, actually shooting Aido's 'wee-wee'. I cringe as he screams, covering the burning area and people evacuating the area within 5ft. of me. Kaname is sadly included. He stares at me and I just shrug, taking out some rubber alien popper from America and press it against the desk, the spring shooting the little figure up into the air and, as if on cue, Yagari walks in, at first cool and collected, but now confused and blinking at the sight of Aido. I smirk in my pride and Richard runs in, panting and sitting next to me, patting my head. I growl and he snatches his hand back. GO ME! Yagari sighs and walks further in, another teacher following and a third coming. Okay huh?

"We don't know what's going on," the third sighs, "but we want to announce something."

I lean forward. "The headmaster has had a plan to take a school…(gulp)…trip…for both classes," the second tugs his collar. "Unfortunately both classes are going at the same time."

I smile. Perfect. I raise my hand and Yagari nods before Richard can force it down. "Where are we going?"

"To a Taiga up north," he answers.

Richard raises a brow. "Did you say TIGER or TAIGA?"

"TAIGA!" Yagari growls.

"Sorry, just thought you said it with an accent," Richard mumbles.

I raise a brow and turn to him. "Tigers have accents?"

Richard groans and slams his head on the table. Yep, annoyed two vamps today. NEXT CHAPTER!

**Moral: My policy is annoying two vamps, not ten million (that's when I get some F*CKING reviews or I'm in that mood). **


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

"You're not bringing that," the bus driver sighs.

I pout. "Why not? We are going to a Tiger."

"TAIGA!" Richard side-snaps. "And just because I said 'tiger with an accent' does NOT mean you had to go ahead and dress up a tiger cub like a British person!"

I pull the puppy dog eyes and hold William P. T. closer to me. "Please Richie?"

"NO."

"Please?"

"Ugh…KANAME!"

"No," Kuran grunts in the first row of Night Class students.

Yuki comes over (checking busses) and smiles at William P. T. "AW…HE'S SO CUTE!"

"I know right?" I smile. "But mean-fatso won't let me take him…"

"Who?" I jerk a thumb at Kaname. "Well he's not _fat_…"

"Yuki, once you have fallen on him with a horse, you can pretty much tell what fat is."

"How so?"

"You don't see me with broken bones, do you? His fat broke my-"

Someone covers my mouth and I curse in the palm, automatically knowing it's Hanabusa (Aido). Kaname stands and bows to Yuki. "I don't recall saying that her tiger wasn't allowed to come."

Yuki smiles. "That's so nice of you Kaname…oh, I have to get on the Day Class bus. See you!"

She skips off and Kaname (after Hanabusa is tazered by me to get off) jerks me over to his row, making me sit next to him and Kain dragging Richard to the very back (GULP). "Okay, I'll let you keep the tiger but only because of Yuki."

I smirk. I think I know an all out war session plan…

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"Hey Zero!" He doesn't reply as I run up, the snow crushing under my fuzzy chocolate boots with those tiny fuzz balls. I start poking his upper arm. "Zero." Poke. "Zero." Poke. "Zero." Poke. Repeat about fifty times. I finally sigh and take out the horn and tazer, tazering his chest so he leans forward and squeezing the horn into his ear.

"WHAT?" he snaps, snatching both objects from me.

I frown. "I just wanted to say hi."

I run off before I'm tazered myself.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, so I'm in the mood for torment, so what? Yuki and I are walking next to each other the next day and William P. T. is in my arms, Yuki goggling over him as usual. Kaname walks past and sighs. I smirk and we eventually go back to the cabins, walking into the one with the cafeteria (in a way) and sit next to Zero. Zero tries to say something, but Yuki can't stop hovering over William. "Aw…he's such a cutie!"

"Unlike Zero," I mutter.

"What was-"

"Look he's twitching his little wiskers!" Yuki claps.

Kaname enters and grows slightly red in the face. He walks over. "Hey, may I sit here?"

"No," Zero snaps.

"Sure," I mutter.

"Aw!" Yuki giggles.

Kaname sits next to Zero, since that's the only option left at this table, and William licks Yuki's face, making her giggle and pat William's head. "I think that's the new…uh…I'm sorry, but which one of you two are Yuki's lover?"

"Me."

I grin maniacally once they realize they said it in unison. Zero chuckles darkly. "Yeah, alright Pureblood. Think what you want."

Kaname mirrors. "I'm know, hunter. You're the one letting your imagination run wild."

I take out a camera and film it, letting Yuki hold William. "This is going to be a HUGE hit on YouTube…"

My phone rings and I take it out to frown. **March 21. **I sigh and shove it away. It's less than two months till my birthday. Yippee. William pounces in my lap and Yuki giggles, the boys glaring at the camera in my hands, but I'm not paying attention that much. "Are you okay, Ann?" Yuki cocks her head. "You look a little pale."

"I'm a vampire, what do you expect?" I snap.

"No, I mean more than usual."

I sigh and take out a meth needle, standing up and walking over to Kain. I stab it into the back of his neck and inject it, walking back casually and looking through Kain's wallet in my hands. "Cool! $20!"

**Moral: Taking money is always easier with drugs.**


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14_

After several calls with linkinparkfan9799, I now have knowledge that people are reading this (go them!). So now, I'm actually up for hire (you review, don't you? So I get something out of it). That and I don't think the people out there want me 'drugging innocent people' (try doing what I did and spend an hour hearing them drone ON and ON and ON). That's why today, I'm doing my own thing to show those butt heads, but keep that reviewing button in mind and keep a torture book just in case. I'm no engineer, which is half the reason why I'm going up for Zero/Kaname torture hire.

I'm screwing a bolt here and there in a water gun (wait for it) which is NOT happy that I'm trying to put in a small stun gun and make sure the water squirt thingamajig can fire soda with accuracy. Yuki is somewhere off with William P. T., so that just leaves me a fcking pillow pet to recite my plan to, which I do with several maniacal laughter sessions until someone knocks on my door, so I yelp and shove the Unicorn Pillow Pet under the bed of the small cabin I have to myself (mostly since everyone else fears me) and cover the table with a winter coat. "COME IN!" I grunt as I trip on the way to the door.

Zero comes through, making me raise a brow at the bag. "Yo," he greets. "Just wanted to tell you that we're sharing the cabin."

I fly up, a caffeine based grin on my face. "Oh really?" I chuckle, making him gulp a bit. "Well then…" I place a hand on his back and gesture to the door that leads into the hall. "Make yourself at home."

I swear he leaves praying to God.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Kaname is reading, I'm texting linkinparkfan9799 madly, trying to tell the btch that I'm not going to let Kaname take my virginity, no matter how many rumors spring up (I'd let Zero take it, but not Mr. Bleh). Kaname clears his throat as we're both sitting on the bench and I look over, my thumb freezing over the send button. "Who's linkinparkfan9799?" he asks.

"Payer," I shrug, pressing the button as he has a worried look on his face. "She's also my supplier."

I swear I hear him go up and walk away.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"YO! ZERO!" I scream in the sleeping Zero's ear.

He screams (like a girl sadly) and rolls off, glaring at me. "WHAT IS IT?"

I smile and wave. "Hi!"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"Hey, Hanabusa," I poke Aido's shoulder. "Hanabusa." Poke. "Hanabusa." Poke. "Hey dck face." Poke. "LISTEN TO ME!" Punch in the face.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"What are you doing?" Yuki asks, William on her lap and both staring at my work spread out on the cafeteria table.

"School work," I mutter, my tongue sticking out the side of my lips. "Science to be specific."

"Do we even take science?" she asks.

"We do now."

She sighs and shakes her head, smiling. "Well, it's nice to see you happy Ann."

I look up from the parts and smile back. "Thank you Yuki!"

Honestly I like her, which is why I tell her my plan. She nods and William goes to her side as she tries to fix a few screwed up parts. I grab my Pepsi can and chug it down, shaking my head vigorously before realizing some went up my nose. Kaname and Zero enter to me screaming 'IT BURNS' with a knife in hand (hey, I might be in pain, but I have to do something or I'll loose my composure!).

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I fiddle with the long green ribbon as Rima snacks on some Pocky, staring out at nothing. I look over at her and raise a brow, shaking my head and returning back to my fiddling. To be honest…she's too Emo for me to torture.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Takuma is walking behind the rest of the Night Class with me as we go into trees to explore (much to a lot of people's complaints that I'll most likely start wearing a hockey mask and hold a chainsaw). I look up at him and smirk, falling behind a bit and readying the soda/stun gun. "OI! TAKUMA!"

He turns and I shoot, but it malfunctions and goes farther. Considering a certain someone's luck, guess who this girlish scream belongs to: "MY EYES!"

Whoever said Hanabusa Aido, you are correct. Pat yourself on the back people!

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, since of the reviews, I'm overly happy and torturing the living crud out of these people (which is why it should keep up). I'm in the trees, holding a bucket of water with tiny piranhas (linkinparkfan9799, who else) and waiting until Kaname is right under the branch…I dump the vicious things and let's just say Shiki, whom he was talking with, wasn't so lucky, Kaname being the smart bstard and dodging. Yep. He's getting leached tonight.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

For one, I do illegal things, so do you think I was JOKING? I sneak across the damp snow, the boots squishing against it and my soft fluff glove wrapping around the cabin handle, slowly turning it and opening it to a large creak I would've liked to avoid. I quickly shuffle to Kaname's room and slip in, the sleepy idiot right there. I smirk and take out the bag with 'the stuff'

(Insert S.O.S Here)

"ANN!"

"YIKES!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BTCH! I NEED TO REIN THAT DMN NECK OF YOURS!"

Jeez, and I thought Zero got mad.

**Moral: When I'm overly happy, my temper shortens and I do more reckless things.**

**Side moral: Aido is not a lucky person**

**Side, Side moral: I love fishies.**


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15_

After several calls with my lawyer, I have some sad news…

…linkinparkfan9799 is making me do something regrettable.

That is right…

…not complain about the lack of new reviews.

See? No complaints! *eye twitch*. I'M AS HAPPY AS CAN BE! HAHAHAHA! *clears throat* okay, back to your reason of reading *claps hands together*-

"What are you doing?" Zero asks next to me in the cafeteria of the Tiger with an accent.

Stars are flying around my head, and replace my eye balls (OW! THEY BURN!). "Just talking to my fans…"

"Okay, you need help."

I shake my head out of it's _glorious stardom _and glare at Zero, huffing and crossing my arms in a slump. "You're just jealous because NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

"Whatever," he sighs.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"When are we going back?"

"May 6, did nobody tell you?"

I freeze. A day after my birthday? WHY ARE THEY KEEPING US HERE FOR SO LONG? I look at the date on my phone: **April 1**. I smile and pat the bandage over my eye. Time to get some pay back for Kaname tasering my FREAKING EYE!

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Fake nose, fake mustache, fake wig that covers via bandages, and fake large glasses I got from Blart, my town clown ^^. YOU ROCK BLART! EVEN THOUGH YOU TRIED TO KILL BARNEY ON TV I STILL LOVE YOU! I wave around some blank paper when I spot the Night Class and Kaname, hauled by Takuma, comes up, Takuma having the usual 'How's your day?' good-boy smile that usually gets wimps pummeled (*whistling innocently*). "Hello!" he smiles. "…blank paper?"

"I'm selling paper," I say in a Barney voice (^^me like Barney^^). "Would you and your gay-looking friend like some?"

Kaname scowls. "I'm not gay, Ann."

"My name's Marc, not Ann, that's my niece."

"NIECE?" Hanabusa holds me by the collar.

"Yes, niece!" I spit. "Ann Siam? I guess you know her?"

"YES! SHE'S TASERED MY BALLS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME REMEMBER!"

Not oddly enough Kaname isn't bothering to stop this. "Eh, well, I remember when she was little she'd decapitate plush toys of vampires. I wonder why…"

"He, he, w-we should go," Hanabusa laughs nervously, patting my head. "Have a good day Marc…"

They walk off and I quickly dial my phone. "Hey Uncle Marc? Yeah, it's Ann, um…do you still have one of my decapitated vamp plush toys?"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I tap my foot in the cafeteria, the 'normal' people staring at the bag of decapitated vampire plush toys and the forty-eight-year-old with a long nose, a bushy black mustache, shoulder hair that covers up the left eye, large glasses that make his eyes look like grapefruits, his golfers cap that clutches tightly to his head, and his 'England attire' or what I call 'What Sherlock Holmes wore'. His bags of blank paper are strapped to his back and he's just looking around. Yeah, he's a vampire, and may I say he's actually old enough to _know _Sherlock Holmes, actually he's old enough to know Blackbeard but still. To tell the truth, he's my height, so yeah, I can easily make a good impression of him as you can tell. Zero enters the cafeteria with Yuki and both raise a brow at me, William coming in from next to Yuki and pouncing in my lap.

"Hello kitty!" I pat his head.

Uncle Marc waves and Zero and Yuki are still paralyzed. Okay, I know it's April Fools dummies, but every day is an April Fools day for me, so today, I'm making my actions with the plush toys…yeah, you'll see what I mean. The Night Class comes in and drops their jaws. I hold up the bag and a plush toy falls out. "HI GUYS!" I glomp Hanabusa and Kaname at once. "GOOD TO SEE YA!"

Zero laughs and Yuki picks up William to cover his eyes, Uncle Marc sifting through his paper bags to probably find my little 'Decapitation dates' I made when I was little. At least he BOTHERED to TRY and remember my birthday, which is one of the only reasons I like him, that, and he was the me of his generation^^so he lets me get away with this stuff. This is mostly the reason Dad keeps me from his older brother. "Ann," Takuma points at the bag. "What is that?"

"My decapitations!" I open it to reveal fake-blood soaked stuff chunks and the plush carcasses. "Want one?"

"NO!" Hananbusa ducks behind Kaname. "Help us Kaname-sama!"

Kaname sighs and crosses his arms. "Throw those out, Ann."

"But-"

"No buts."

"You're NOT my Mom!" I snap. WHERE IS THIS IN THE SCRIPT? WHERE'S THE ANGER?

"Ann. I'm NOT repeating myself."

"Good, because I'm NOT getting rid of my babies!" I hug them.

"WHAT ARE YOU A MANTIS?" Hanabusa shouts.

I grit my teeth. "YES, AND YOUR HEAD IS NEXT! COME ON UNCLE MARC! LET'S SELL SOME PAPER!"

I storm off with my lovable uncle behind me, smirking at my slightly changed plans.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I'm NOT killing anyone, that'd be less fun, you know? I have my chainsaw, the hockey mask, the paper pirate hat, the yellow plastic teeth, the Jason attire, and the big glasses from lovable Blart. I walk up to the Night Class cabin door and kick it open, rearing the chainsaw. I evil laugh and the vamps come out, Hanabusa screaming like the girl he is and ducks behind Akatsuki. "SHE'S GONE PSYCHO!"

Richard, using vamp powers that I so envy him for, makes the plush toys levitate around me and my uncle (love him^^) uses a loud recorder to make the air echo 'kill, kill, kill'. I keep laughing and run in, everyone scrambling. Yep, I'm torturing the whole Night Class, so that's like more then ten vamps! YAY! SUCK THAT ZERO AND KANAME! I tend to destroy tables and that sht, but eventually corner Hanabusa with the chain saw raised. "KILL! KILL! KILL!" I laugh in my drunken Jason voice.

"PLEASE HAVE MERCY!"

Why am I reminded of some cheesy horror flick? I shrug and charge, someone slamming my face with a frying pan. I back up a bit, holding my nose, and scowl up to the girl ahead of me. I gap. "LINKINPARKFAN9799!"

(Insert Scold Here)

"I'm telling you," she sighs, "you can't just go off about to kill people!"

"But…"

"No buts Ann! Look, next time let the reviewers tell you if they want you to be psycho or not, okay? I mean seriously you were about to kill Hanabusa off!"

"NOBODY LIKES HIM!"

"You'd be surprised…"

I huff and cross my arms. "Okay, okay, but at least give me Mrs. T."

She sighs. "I'll call my animal holder. You get some rest and give me the chainsaw."

I smirk and raise it high. "You asked for it…"

The Night sky is filled with her terrified shrieks as I chase her around the Taiga.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I yawn and stuff my omelet in my mouth, Yuki cuddling William as usual and Zero sleeping on the table. I flick some eggs at him. "Hey." Flick. "Hey." Flick. "Hey." Flick. "HEY." Flick. "LISTEN TO ME!" Dump Yuki's tray down the back of his shirt (including the hot sause^^)

"OW!" he screams as it trickles to the front and to that area. "ANN!"

I shrug innocently. "You wouldn't wake up!"

"AHH! THERE'S A TIGER OUTSIDE!" a girl shrieks.

Yuki freezes and turns to me. "What. Did. You. Do?"

I pluck up William and hand him to Kaname, shoving Kaname out of the cafeteria and locking the door. Next thing you know his screams are echoing the cafeteria and the vamps all too scared from the previous night to get near me and the bag of decapitated plush toys and Richard standing in front of the door. I glomp Richard. "I wuv you!"

He pats my head and sighs. "Just wait until Aunt Margret hears about this from Uncle Marc…"

I smile and hand him a cookie. "Here!"

"Thank you," he smiles. He takes it and eats it whole. His eyes widen. "HOT! OW! HOT! HOT! WATER!"

Zero shoves his head in a sink and stream rises, Richard pulling his head out and nodding at Zero. "Don't bother," Zero blinks with wide eyes, "I just feel sorry for you having to live with that thing."

"Hey, I know you like me! You did say you'd come to my Birthday!" I cheer, glomping Zero.

Zero sighs. "Um…about that…"

I freeze and look up. "What?"

He sighs. "I can't."

All blood stops and all nerves feel like they're sizzling. "W-What?"

"I can't," he repeats. "I'm sorry…"

He walks off back to the table with Yuki and Richard looks at me. "Ann?" he leans down. "Yo, Ann."

My eyes hidden, I walk to the door to yank it open, Kaname running in without William and his eyes wide. "WHAT WAS-Ann?"

I run out of the cafeteria and into my cabin. I lock every exit and lock myself in my room, hugging my knees as my back is against the door. I eye the taser and look out to find Takuma walking around. I grab it and jump out the window, shoving the taser into his neck. Sadly, even that doesn't improve my day, so I just go back to lock the window and sleep.

**Questions: **

**One-WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO DO? SHE IS UP FOR HIRE PEOPLE!**

**Two-How would you react when Zero told you that he couldn't come to your first celebrated birthday?**

**Moral: I have bad influences for family members and neighbors^^**


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter 16_

Okay, so after getting word on reviews, I feel happy^^. THEREFORE! I SHALL TRY AND ATTEMPT THE IMPOSSIBLE! SAWING OFF AIDO'S WEEWEE! I mean you sort of _need _one for that^^. I'm sorry I'm just so happy! I HAVE AN ACTUAL JOB! Too bad I don't get paid…The job is COMPLETELY different from MY mental issues, so XP. I have the rusty still saw (dmn supplier took my chainsaw…I GOT JASON TO SIGN THAT BTCH! I. WANT. !) and the medical book I plan to use to knock him out with (Hmm, who cares about making sure you get it done right? His balls are right THERE, you DON'T need a medical book for that). I enter the Night Class cabin and sneak carefully into Aido's room, smirking at the fact he's sleeping. I place the saw flat on his stomach and angle it until his eyes open. Crp.

"AAHHH! KANAME-SAMA!"

I curse and try to haul out of the window before Kaname runs in and catches my ankle, yanking the saw out of my hands. "A SAW? ARE YOU FCKING JOKING?"

"Nope!" I smile.

He rubs his temples. "That's it. I only have one thing I know that will get you to STOP this nonsense!"

"Other people don't think it's nonsense," I cross my arms. "They find it funny. I'm serious people had a laugh at Aido's little 'tasered my balls enough' comment!"

"I. Don't. Care. Therefore, I hope you enjoy celebrating your birthday _alone_."

"Okay, just because YOU don't come doesn't mean I can't invite other people, like the ones who enjoy Aido's pain."

"HEY!" Aido snaps.

"Well, nobody LIKES YOU!" I snap. "And Kaname?"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, so maybe trying to shove a Barney Toy down Kaname's throat in the middle of a populated cabin and not the middle of a dark carnivorous forest wasn't such a great idea, but hey, at least I got an arm down there. I walk into the cafeteria and spot Zero. TIME FOR MY JOB! I haul in the writhing bag and stop next to him, smiling like I just saw Barney and hugged him. "W-What's that?" Zero points to the bag.

I open it and haul an innocent Kindergartener out, the bunny clutched in her hands and her pigtails muddy with my attempt to get her here willingly (Note: Lollipops DON'T work). "I have this kindergartener up for $5. Want it?"

He sighs and pinches his nose (is that the new trend or something?). "Ann. You DON'T sell someone else's _kid_."

"Oh come on! $3?"

"No."

"$2.50 is my FINAL offer."

"No."

"Fine! I'll just talk to Headmaster you fatso!"

"I'm not fat."

"Oh? Denial?"

"No."

"Oh come on you pansy!"

"No."

"$1?"

"I though $2.50 was your final offer?"

"Not anymore. A NICKEL?"

"Jeez just return the kid and I'll give you ten bucks."

I leave a dust trail as I dash to return the kid.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

While he was trying to get someone for change, I stole Zero's wallet! ^^I have $50.74 added to my $1,256.82! So two vamps ticked off, so now we go ABOVE my policy. Sure this is lame, but I got it from 30 Minutes Or Less (I don't know why, but Richard covered my eyes for a part). I stuff chocolate boxes into a bag filled with paint bomb and look around. I spot Kain and smile, skipping over. "KAIN! I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!"

He sighs and turns, kneeling down to my level. "What?"

I offer the bag with a sweet smile. "Chocolates without poison!"

He raises a brow. "Why would you put poison in that sentence?"

"Oh, because I tried to make pop tarts for Kaname once and put rat poison in it~" I smile innocently. "Want them?"

"…I don't know…"

"PLEASE? I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

"Then no."

I glomp his legs, pinning him before he walks off. "COME ON! I worked so hard to make them…" I let fake tears fall.

He huffs. "Fine, just fine. No poison?"

"No poison!"

He takes the bag as I get off and opens it to the multiple chocolates, opening one and blue paint splattering all over his face, making me laugh. "Ha ha. You know, it's no wonder people don't like to celebrate your birthday."

I freeze and raise a brow. "H-How did you know that?"

He shrugs. "Kaname told everyone not to go to your Birthday Party, so…"

He walks off, leaving me to sit in the snow, freezing my as off.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I walk into the cafeteria the next day to drop my bag of piranhas. "Hello Annie!" Mom waves.

My jaw drops and the Chairman waves at me next to Dad. "Oh hello! Your family is helping along with the trip, seeing it's going to take a while…"

Al walks up. "Hello!"

I blink and look up to them. "Richard?" I call.

"Yes?" he walks up with Zero behind him.

I grab him by the hair, my parents standing, and shove his head into the same sink Zero shoved his head into. Zero and my dad try to pry me off, but I don't have a punching bag or a Kaname toy to take my anger out on, so what better way than my dearest brother?

**Moral: I take anger out on Richard when there is no other way**

**Questions!**

**One-Anything you want me to do?**

**Two-WHO WANTS TO COME TO MY BIRTHDAY? IT'S MAY FIFTH! (Ann, I thought I was writing this) NO YOUR NOT, YOUR PUTTING THIS UP! XP COME ALL WHO LOVE MY CRAZINESS!**

**Three-Do you think Kaname is taking this WAY too far like I am thinking?**

**Four-Anyone else suddenly craving cake frosting?**


	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter 17_

"Remind me again why you hate me," I grumble, some day class btches giggling as my dad tells my mom jokes.

"_I _do n-ACHOO-ot," Richard growls. "The Headmaster hates both of us…"

Al tackles the back of Richard's legs. "BROTHER!"

"AW!" Beet smiles.

Richard blushes and tries to yank Al off. "Okay, okay! GET OFF!"

AL sticks his tongue out an runs for Beet, Richard after him. I yawn and look over at Ruka, skipping over. "Hey Ruka~" I smile. "Want to come to my bi-"

"No."

I pout and poke her cheek constantly. "Why not?"

She slaps my hand away. ME-E-YOW! "You have angered Kaname-sama, and-"

"Under his 'oh so mighty' jack as orders, you can't come," I finish, shrugging innocently. "That's fine…just watch out for THIS!"

I push her down the hill next to us and cackle at her screams of pain as she slams into a tree. I skip off, loving my life.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I stretch in the (you got this…) cafeteria and blink at the sleeping Zero next to me. I smile and take out some corn syrup, dipping a paint brush in there and painting all over his face, then sticking duct tape over the eye brows while holding a mirror in the air. I rip off the tape pieces and he screams, staring in horror at his reflection. "WHAT THE FCK?"

I laugh, dropping the mirror and falling back. "OH THAT'S RICH!"

He rolls his eyes and covers his bloody eyebrows. "Ugh…duct tape? Really?"

I stand up. TIME TO ANNOY VAMP NUMBER THREE! (hey, can't have a three hundred word chapter).

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Yuki is walking close to my bench with Kaname as I text Calibri. I check the date: **April 14**. JEEZ. I growl at Calibri's denial to make an apology video (sicko) and I shut the phone, chucking it and hitting Kaname (BULL'S EYE~). "OW!" he screams. "ANN!"

"IT'S A PHONE!" I scream.

Never the less, the dope chases me around.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Anyone else feel like today's just a lazy day? Well, that's why I'm bringing out Marvin, my magical taser of DOOM! (So what if I name my torture devises?). I watch Senri and Aido come up, sighing. Does fate really want me to electrify Aido's balls into nothing? I mean seriously Senri is TOO Emo (just like Rima) to torture (I swear if anyone gives me THAT to do, I will make them regret it be selling them out and giving them addresses and phone numbers). I stand up and skip over. "H-" Aido is already running, so I sigh and dash after him. "GET BACK HERE! I NEED TO TASER YOU!"

Eventually I tackle him and taser him in the nuts, as usual. I walk off with a big grin and Aido screaming, "BTCH! BTCH! OW MY WEEWEE!"

Seriously, have you EVER heard a guy say that?

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I'm really lonely, so I'm torturing these 'good' people. I sit in the cabin, typing up my 'Reasons of Behavior' essay for the Headmaster, when Zero walks through the front door. "Hello Ann," he yawns as he walks in to properly greet me. "What's that?"

"My detention-replacing essay~" I sing. "Want to read?"

He shrugs and leans over my shoulder to read it (I'll copy an paste just for you good readers~)

**Why I Can't Behave**

_**Ann Siam, Day/Night Class, Age: Thirteen (Really Fourteen but Gd just doesn't want me to grow some tits)**_

**Now we all know we're born with genes, right? Well, I was born into a family of crazy, chain-saw wielding psychopaths that feed me to our pet monster, Al Siam. All my behavior genes have been flushed down his feeding pipe and there fore I have been turned into the monster I am today. Now, opposed to the good natured life I could have had, I have the best of times tasering peoples nuts, torturing Dorm presidents, and sneaking Blackmail photos into cabin mates pillows!**

Zero dashes out. "HEY!" I scream after him. "YOU DIDN'T GET TO THE PART ABOUT MY PET UNICORN AND HOW IT KILLED ELMO!"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, so Headmaster didn't like that one, saying the age comment wasn't at all appropriate (along with some others), so I'm redoing it. I'm in the cafeteria, munching on chicken next to Yuki typing up yet another essay. I just don't see what people expect though, I mean I'm not telepathic (that'd be awesome though). Kaname sits across from Yuki and I smile, pushing the laptop to him. "Hey, read my detention-replacing essay!"

He sighs and reads.

**Why I Choose Not To Behave**

_**Siam, Ann**_

_**Day and Night Class**_

_**Age: Thiourteen**_

**Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does Ann Siam really misbehave? Yes, she does, but for multiple reasons that makes her choose to let go and live a care-free, healthy lifestyle of potato chips and tasering nuts. One, the world is made of multiple varieties of dck heads, most NOT dck heads, but still. For example Night-Class Dorm President 'Name Cannot Be Mentioned For Suing Purposes' constantly scolds her for no reason at all and killed two innocent French Fries, Wheaton and Zia.**

He pushes the delete button and red corn syrup squirts on his face. "HA!" I point. "HAVE TO READ IT ALL!"

"But why are you still-"

I start sniffling, Yuki glaring at him, and he chooses to read more.

**Two, tasering nuts is a SPORT. Those who cannot handle it might as well go fck Night-Class Dorm President 'Name Cannot Be Mentioned For Suing Purposes' because THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF JOY.**

**Three, behaving is SO over-rated.**

**Fourth and final reason, YOU FORCED HER FAMILY UPON HER AT THE WORST TIME POSSIBLE!**

**Therefore, ladies and fishes of de court, she has exquisite reasons to behave horribly and to exchange Dorm-President's clothes with Yuki Cross's due to the torture YOU inflicted upon her.**

**I expect $5,546 under the tallest tree next to the cafeteria tomorrow,**

**Siam, Ann's lawyer, Marvin, the magical taser**

Kaname blinks up at me and stands with my laptop, walking over to the sink and dropping it in, then placidly walking out, and then stomping back in an hour later with Yuki and I still staring at the sparking sink with Jia, my now dead laptop, and drops a full-case dresser drawer in front of me, filled with Yuki's clothes. "I'D LIKE MY CLOTHES BACK!" he snaps.

Yuki chases him out thinking he took one of her drawers.

**Moral: Marvin is a good lawyer**


	18. Chapter 18

_**BIRTHDAY INFO! Okay, so leave like a little character description (doesn't have to look like you it just to be something to be able to walk to my party). So far, The Pocky Machine is invited, xDemonChickx is **_

**_to! _Ann, does she even WANT to go? _Oh…yeah, remember to tell me if you want to come!_**

_Chapter 18_

"Me so happy I could kill. Me so happy I could kill. Me so happy I could ki-ill…Me so happy, Aido's going to be called gay~" I sing to 'Happy Birthday'.

As I fight the stupid wax seal (Al ate all my decapitated head stickers…) over _someone's _birthday invite (DON'T SKIP ANYTHING PEOPLE!), I plan my next atta-I mean…oh fck it, attack. Okay, so I have yet another job (thank you, my good reviewer The Pocky Machine [mmm…could go for some pocky!]), and you'll just have to watch (look at the reviews JUST because I said 'reviewer' and I'll do this to you, got it?). Right now, I have the phone ringing, squished between my right shoulder and my ear and whistling my happy birthday song until the voice comes on. "Hello?

"Hey, have any crack?"

Okay, let's just leave it at that I know people.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

All you have to require is phone numbers and BOOM, you get crack mixed with sleeping dope. I knock on the Night Class Cabin and Senri opens it, rubbing one eye. "What?" he yawns. "How are you so energetic in the day?"

"Easy, me no boring pot nuts," I laugh. "Hey, Aido here?" He sighs, like he doesn't care about anything (I _should_ fix that later, but TOO EMO!), and I skip off, swinging the door open to make Aido jump. "HEY BUDDY!" I raise the needle. "COME HERE YOU LITTLE FCK!"

He screams and I leap, digging the needle into his shoulder. I was hoping for the balls, seeing that's the taser's-special-spot, but eh, it'll do. Really wanted to record Aido's girl scream and put it on YouTube though, or Facebook…

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Don't blame me for the half-hour it takes to get from my cabin to their cabin and then ANOTHER half-hour to get back when dragging a passed out naked guy (okay, don't get too excited, he still has underwear). I kick the door open, thanking Father for the heavy sleeper I have to share this cabin with and slightly cursing for no tits (holding that against him, yes; will holding it benefit me, no). I drag Aido along, looking away just incase a naughty floorboard decides to de-clothe the rest of Aido (maybe it's blind?) and shove my way into Zero's room (have you figured out the job yet?^^). May I say hiring someone to carry junk like Aido sounds tempting, seeing he weighs somewhat two-hundred pounds to me (I'm stuck at thirteen. Thank you, Gd, for making me weak as to NOT BE ABLE TO CARRY THIS FAT AS!).

I pant and stare in absolute horror as Aido cuddles up to Zero's warm body (you'd think after Zero pummeling me that I'd know his body temperature [WAY BACK in the old days when I didn't buy crack and cocaine and set two boys in the same bed]). For pure amusement, I set up a live video feed and skip to my room, locking the door and releasing Bad As Fck (Snow Leopard^,,^) from his cage (no steroids, that's just animal cruelty) and tossing him tuna as I watch the two shift in bed. I nearly choke on Dr. Pepper when I see Zero grab Aido's p*n*s (hint: both are vowels and make a body part).

(Insert 'why do boys molest each other in their sleep?' Here)

I stretch and yawn. Jeez if they don't wake up soon, I'll miss my chance to do my second job (you have to hand it to The Pocky Machine, she's better than stupid linkinparkfan9799 **[who's paying you?]** your mom! Oh yeah, NAILED IT! OH! Great ball-torment idea for Kaname! *scribble, scribble*). Zero stirs and I lean forward so that my nose is flat against the screen, peeling off to skin oil (uck-fay). I clean it off super fast and watch as Zero rubs his eyes to open, blinking at the face in front of him. He screams and rolls onto the floor, yanking the blanket from beneath Aido, causing him to scream and fall, and Zero staring in the absolute horror I had at Aido. "WHAT THE FCK WHERE YOU DOING IN MY BED YOU MAN-WHORE?"

I scribble down notes. This is excellent Blackmail. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DIDN'T-ANN I SWEAR!"

"OH STOP USING HER AS AN EXCUSE!" he snaps, making me beam. "I MEAN SHE MIGHT BE SICK BUT I DOUBT SHE WANTS US HAVING WEIRD BABIES!"

"WE'RE BOTH GUYS!"

"YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?"

I cover my mouth and shut the computer down. Eh, I would continue, but I can hear the screams just fine.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I haul the heavy bag of shoes (JEEZ RUKA I KNOW YOU'RE A GIRL BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!) over to the cliff and shove them off, listening to the thick DU-SNAP! CRASH! Of the shoes breaking a branch and falling farther than planned. I shrug it off and walk over to the Night Dorms to find Ruka sitting on the last step with her head in her hands. "Something wrong?" I wonder.

"Yeah, one of every pair of my shoes is gone," she sighs. "Can you help me find them?"

"I don't know…" I sway back and forth. "That's AWFULLY pricy…"

"Please?" she sighs. "I don't have time!"

"Okay, okay, but only if you promise to come to my Birthday Party!" She forms a cross over her heart. "Okay, blame my fans, they wanted me to hide them. Have fun with that!"

I skip off and look back once to see her shaking her head laughing. Yep, now the tormented are humored! SUCK MY AS KANAME!

(Insert gloat Here)

And no, that did not say 'goat'. I whistle as Zero and Aido come in, staring horridly at one another, and Yuki tugs my jacket sleeve. "What did you do?" she whispers.

"Nothing~" I sing. "OI RICHARD!"

"OH CRP!" Richard falls off his seat next to Beet (haha, that rhymes!) and starts running.

"HEY!" I chase him. "MARVIN AND I JUST WANT A HUG!"

He stops. BIG MISTAKE FCK FACE XD! "Who?"

I jab my taser into his ribs and jam the button in place, duct taping my lovely Marvin to his chest where it can still turn him into Vampire Barbeque. "Marvin, the magical taser! Want to meet Lexi, the joyous Guillotine?"

"NO! GET THIS O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OFF!" he jerks around like bacon in the middle of a winter blizzard ^^. I want to chase pigs now.

"Nah," I shrug, skipping back. I freeze at the glare of Mother. I gulp and nervously face her. "Yes?" She points to Marvin. "But M-O-M!" I whine, stomping a foot.

"Now," Dad sighs.

I groan and un-attach it, walking over to Al and duct taping it onto his back, Mom and Dad gasping as I huff and walk away to sit next to Gaping Yuki. "WHAT THE FCK?" she blinks. "YOU'RE TASERING A CHILD!"

I take out red mush. "Yeah, what do you think happened to that Kindergartener?"

She widens her eyes as I glom my face with the mush and slowly picks up her tray, slowly walking over to where Kaname is sitting. I blink. Jeez, what does that chick have against Kid Liver? (Okay, THINK LONG AND HARD ON WHAT I MEAN!)

**Moral: You shouldn't by so many shoes, it hurts vampires backs.**

**BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY! It's *checks phone* APRIL 25! SEE YOU…Maybe three or five chapters from now? **

**Questions**

**One-WHAT DO I DO, OH MASTERS OF TORTURE? (my wonderful room of mirrors is the Torture Shrine of Ann^^)**

**Two-BIRTHAY INVITES STILL AVAILABLE! Remember to leave a character description so I don't say you're a cloud of thin air coming to wish me happy first celebrated birthday!**

**Three-Will I ever get tits?**

**Four-Who's crazier? Zero, or me?**

**Five-Who wants me to do the chicken dance next chapter in some weird annoying idea? **

**Side Moral: Questions are pointless, so that makes it fun.**


	19. Chapter 19

_Chapter 19_

May I just say, I thank those (the SINGLE person [NOT SINGLE AS IN DATING YOU WHACK JOBS {shouldn't throw stones huh :3}]) who complemented me and my craziness. For that, I'm going all out PSYCHO! Okay, not really, since that'd include being World's Most Wanted. As 'Bodies' by Drowning Pool drowns out the sound of drills and saws in my cabin room, I stare at my bookmarked page of World Domination. Oddly enough my Cousin wrote it. I still wonder how he got ditched in an asylum. Eh, world has it's wonders. Someone knocks, but since the radio is blaring, I smirk and ignore them, wanting them to think I failed to notice. The knocking is louder this time and I smirk wider, tightening a nut here with the tools and eventually they just let themselves in. I tilt my head back to Yagari. ^^JOB TIME WITH ANN DEMON GONE OUT OF HAND SIAM (you think I'd kid about that awesome middle name?)^^.

"Yo, Yagari!" I wave my trusty wrench coated at the top with dry blood. "What's up?"

He blinks at the wrench for a second before letting it go. "I'm just here to inform you your parents wanted your cabin to have a supervisor, so I'm here."

I fake laugh. "Yeah, you should worry more about Zero."

"Why?"

"Because I've seen him kissing pictures of you lately," I lie. "I think he likes you."

He rolls his eyes. "Good-bye, psycho."

I run in front of him and hold up a picture I requested from Calibri, Yagari's jaw dropping and only-eye-the-vulture-has-left bulging. "Believe me now?" I smirk.

He walks into a room I suppose is now his. What? So it was Yagari in a speedo with Zero-shaped lipstick kissing smears on it…

…okay I have to admit I think the saliva stain over the speedo was a bit over board.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I tap my foot on the ground and the bus pulls up at the bottom of the hill. A girl with mid-back blonde hair and blue eyes comes out, smiling at the sight of me. "OH MY GOSH IT'S ANN SIAM!" she laughs. "I'm so happy to be here!" She presents a hand. "I'm Naomi!"

I blink and spit in my own palm, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. "Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam at your service. Oh, and here."

I hand her pictures of Zero in a speedo and she sighs. She looks at me with a crooked smirk and a raised brow, holding the pictures with one hand in front of her shoulder. "I said I was kidding."

"Well, someone texted me at six in the morning, so I skidded through. Oh, and…do you have some alcohol I can use?"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"And this is the cafeteria," I walk in, Naomi by my side.

"Wow…" she growls at the sight of Kaname.

I sigh and pat her back. "We all hate him, Nana."

She pouts. "It's Naomi."

"Yeah, yeah Tsukiyomi."

"I'M NOT THAT PERVERT FROM SHUGO CHARA!"

"Alright," I sigh.

She looks around and giggles. "It's Zero! Isn't he cute?"

I blink. "O…kay?"

She screams, making _me _jump. Jeez I didn't even sneak the worms in her shirt yet! "IT'S SHIKI!"

"Huh?" Shiki turns at his name.

Naomi tackles him and starts kissing him like crazy. I'm filming with a huge smirk on my face, Shiki screaming at me to stop, and Zero walking over with a raised brow and crossed arms. "Birthday guest," I shrug.

He sighs. "Yeah, um…"

I raise a brow. "Don't tell me you were sent to bomb my birthday party?"

"No, my plans just cleared u-"

I tackle him to the ground and follow Naomi's example, just with Zero. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU AND HUG YOU AND LOCK YOU UP IN MY CLOSET FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!"

He screams and tries to push me off. "GET HER OFF ME! HELP! I'M ABOUT TO BE MOLESTED!"

I stop and blink. Okay, is he telepathic?

(Insert 'I'M JOKING…maybe' Here)

"Thanks for the alcohol Richard!" I wave as I retreat from his cabin. Okay, so I have three or four or one case on my way to the cafeteria where Zero and Shiki are. "SUP!" I sway, not drunk at all (*laughs*). "I JUS' want to SAY you DO 'ave ALWAYS Ben 'here's for MOI!" I hug both of their shoulders. "Have a drink, eh?"

I fall back, giggling like an idiot. Zero and Shiki sigh. "If we drink one, will you get help?" Zero sighs.

I nod and they have one. Then another. Then another…then another…

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"Uh…Ann?"

"Yeah Zero?" I snuggle against something warm.

"Why are you and I in the same bed naked and your friend and Shiki in the same bed naked?"

My eyes pop open and I scream, shoving Marvin into Zero's baby maker. "RAPIST! OH FCK I MIGHT BE FOURTEEN BUT THIS IS STILL TEEN PREGNANCY YOU DMNED SICK PEDOPHILE!

**Moral: Drunk Me+Drunk Zero+Drunk Shiki+Naomi=possible rape**

**Questions**

**One-AM I PREGNANT?**

**Two-Should I lend Naomi my chainsaw?**

**Three-Will you please tell officials I'm a thirty-year-old Leprechaun? **

**Four-Did I drink too much?**

**Five-I wanted to do the chicken dance, but it wouldn't fit. Should I use that as my new victory dance?**

**Six-WHAT SHOULD I DO?**

**I won't update unless someone reviews (have some sympathy for poor, vampire, titless me people)**


	20. Chapter 20

**TIED FOR THIRD PLACE OF REVIEW COUNT: Survival VS. Annoying the Vamps!**

_Chapter 20_

Okay, so after ten million gazillion pregnancy tests, I have discovered I'm NOT pregnant (jeez, that baby would equal world domination). I walk into the room, Naomi squeezing terrified Senri's waist and I blink, walking over to now clothed and terrified Zero and hand him a pregnancy test. He scowls. "I'm-"

"Taking it or else," I snarl, peeling Naomi off of Senri. "Cut it out before you become Miss Pregnant-With-Tons-Of-Babies." She pouts and I huff. "I'll lend you my chain-"

She pries off and next blink session she's clothed as can be. I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. Jeez…am I this annoying? Probably, but I'm too awesome to be hated (even Kaname likes me, he's just shy). Zero refuses to take the test, so I push him onto the bed and start forcing.

I don't think he's happy about not having a baby, because he's wide-eyed and probably close to tears.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

So after ten entertaining hours of Naomi chasing Kaname with my chainsaw (I ate popcorn and drank blood tablets), we walk into the cafeteria, Kaname praying on the Bible he'll live after my birthday. Well, as an agreement, I stopped Naomi from nearly making him a girl (it's surprising what you can do with watermelons and a bunch of gelatin) only on the condition he lift his stupid no-birthday-for-our-ruler rule and he HAS to come, or I'm personally making the sex-change, and I know how to do it VERY PAINFULLY (internet solves everything^^). Naomi and I sit next to Yuki, Kaname across from her, and Senri pushes Zero into the cafeteria, Zero pretty much paralyzed from my simple seeing if we had teen pregnancy (I'm serious what's his problem?).

"What happened Zero?" Yuki gasps as Senri sits him down and walks over to his own table.

Zero blinks at nothing and looks up at my face, screaming like a girl and falling backwards on the chair, now behind Yagari, who falls after saying something Yuki covers my ears from, who slams into the headmaster who falls and knocks a girl with piping hot soup in her hands and that goes flying into…I'm stuck laughing.

Al's nuts.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

You know, blame me for the incident yesterday since I scarred both Yagari and Zero (speedos, gives everyone the wrong idea). Naomi receives a text next to me on the bench saying that a thirty-year-old Leprechaun has been seen in a Taiga. I smile and plop my green top hat on, a shamrock sticking up from the top. Naomi laughs and I spot Yagari not that far snoozing, so I shrug on a green coat and green boots and red wig with green highlights and squat down to a reasonable (pha, what do I do that's reasonable?) level and waddle (much to Naomi's amusement) over to take out a black coin purse with one gold-wrapped chocolate piece inside and curse slightly at the eye-patch, seeing I believe it's sewn on. I mean seriously I don't want my St. Patrick's Day outfit getting all bloody. I shrug and grab the edges, his eye popping open when I start ripping it off. A nasty tear of flesh echoes along with a man's scream and a squeak as someone plops chocolate onto the bloody spot and runs for it (hmm…I wonder who ^, ,^).

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"I have the feeling I'm missing something in life," I sigh, finding the date: **April 30.**

Yuki shrugs on the bench (why are the only places in this thing cabins, the cafeteria, and benches?). "Maybe it's just the boyfriend thing?"

I bite my lower lip and shake my head. "Don't think so…"

Aido walks by and shrieks, ducking behind Akatsuki. "It's the demon!"

I sigh and stand, walking over and holding out a hand. "Okay, truce?"

"Nice try!"

"Promise." He blinks at my 'sober' expression and sighs, taking my hand and jerking like it hurts. I peel my hand away and reveal the 'WARNING: NOT TESTED' buzzer in my palm. He falls back with glassy eyes and I snap my fingers. "I KNOW WHAT'S MISSING!"

"A paramedic?" Kain sighs.

"Nope!" I smile. I take out my phone and play the song for the Chicken Dance, performing it live. "A VICTORY DANCE!"

"Help…me…" Aido manages.

As I start chicken dancing away, I stomp hard on his ribs in a move and clap my hands, smirking and twisting my foot a bit to get the sole buzzer out, smashing that into his liver. I love life^^.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

I munch on Gifted Pocky and Naomi is sleeping in her cabin, so I walk past Zero. "Hey Ichiru-chan," I mutter. He stops and sighs, walking away while taking some picture out. I walk past some trees and some bushes ruffle. "Hey Zero-chan."

The bushes sigh and out pops Ichiru (don't). "I'm Ichiru."

"No matter how much you want to be your cry-baby brother, you're Zero."

He crosses his arms and starts walking with me. "Ichiru."

"Zero."

"Ichiru."

"Zero."

"Ichiru."

"Zero."

"Ichiru."

"Ichiru."

"Slut."

I gasp and put a hand over my heart, patting his back. "I feel SO sorry that you have to hump countless women."

Yeah, I _think _he meant something different…

**Side Moral: Ask what a person means when they say 'slut' in the arguing of names. If they deny it, that means they're shy and ashamed. If they accept it, it means you need to get the fck away and call a mental facility.**

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Pink dye?

Check.

White powder?

Check.

Duct Tape?

Check.

Dye remover?

Not Check.

Zero Portfolio of Sexy King in Speedos?

Triple Check.

I walk into the Night Dorms and sneak to sleeping Kaname's room. "No…NO! AH! GET AWAY ANN! AHH!"

I blink as he twists and turns in his sleep. I huff and duct tape him to the bed, his eyes never opening once, and I set the portfolio open down on his wee (you'll see why). I sprinkle the white powder in the same area and on the exposed (and soon infected) picture (yes, having to pluck it up with nose tweezers of Richard) and set it back. He yanks on the duct tape restraints and I blink, just so I can't be caught. I set the dye in his hair and soon it's Amu from Shugo Chara! pink. I tip-toe out.

RESULT (I missed these)

Yuki hiding seeing I asked her to let me pretend to be her, I sit on the bench, Naomi still in her dorm, and Zero comes up, sitting next to me. "Hey Yuki," he sighs.

"Hey Zero!" I cheer, wrapping my arms around his neck. "How are you?"

He blushes and raises a brow. "Did Ann give you any alcohol?"

"No silly!" I sit in his lap (oh gd he has a b*n*r). "Just happy to see you! Hey, um…where's Kaname?"

"Why? Going to give him a lap dance?" Zero mutters to himself.

"Nope!" I snap, flicking his nose the Yuki-fashion. I scoff. "So inappropriate! I just want to see what he's getting for Ann's birthday so I don't get the same thing."

Someone taps my shoulder and I turn to a pink-haired Kaname and a scarred-for-life Takuma. "Hello…Yuki…" Kaname swallows.

I hop off of Zero and hug Kaname. "Kaname-sama!" I squeal. "Um…what unicorn puked on your hair?" He blinks for a short second and I look down to see the powder is still on. "OH MY GD!" I 'fall' back, gasping (should I go for Broadway?). "WHAT THE FCK HAVE YOU BEEN HUMPING?"

Takuma lifts up a bag, swallowing hard. "We found…this."

Zero snatches the handles and opens it, using tweezer's Takuma hands him to pluck it out and his eyes widen, jaw dropping.

Okay, so I put Kaname-lip-sized kiss marks on there with the pink coloring all over Zero in the middle of peeling off a Speedo while he's facing the camera full on, most of it off.

Where the saliva stain over the Speedo is there is a mystery to _me_.

**Moral: Unicorns have pink puke.**

**Questions**

**One-What to do what to do…**

**Two-If you had to rate the humor on a scale of 1-10, what would it be? Be honest.**

**Three-Who wants a Leprechaun outfit for St. Patrick's Day?**


	21. Chapter 21

_Chapter 21_

Since Headmaster was extremely alarmed he found Yuki duct taped to the closet (100% Naomi) in my cabin, only several people had to go back. Ichiru, tired of bushes and trees, decided to just reveal his hermit-little-self and get on the freaking bus. Remember Operation: A.P.O.L.O.G.Y? Well, that was one long chapter, but, guess what? I'm sitting in my dorm at Cross Academy squealing at the date, so The Pocky Machine, I'M DOING THOSE REQUESTS! Guess what? **MAY 4**.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"Let, Operation: Birthday Celebration, BEGIN!" I cheer to nobody in particular.

Hauling a whole…day's…worth of supplies (okay, so it's one in the morning) through trees is not fun, but the results will definitely be…eh, something or another. Remember that 'Ann's Suicide'? Or was it 'Lesbian Trio'…eh. Anyways, Zero was EMOTIONLESS which was NOT in de script (okay, so he reacted later, still not in the script). I look at the list I had recently printed out and nod. First stop: Kaname's dorm. To be honest, I have no idea why Headmaster only sent Yuki, Zero, Kaname, Ruka, Shiki, Naomi (registered), Kain, Ichiru, Richard, Beet, her friend Rachel, Aido, some Night Class Chick named Mimi, himself, Rima, and me back (why oh why did Yagari stay with all those troublemakers? XD). Hmm, must be the fact _someone _sent him my to-do-list (you know who).

I drag through the gate, nodding at Mr. I-Need-Skin-Cream, and pushing through the Night Dorms that belong to Kaname and several others door. I dash up to Kaname's room, the writhing bag not so cooperative, and I burst in, dragging a naked Headmaster (okay, there's black lace underwear, but you can get what I'm doing) over to Kaname's bed to handcuff both wrists to the headboard, and dump a whole load of baggy clothing and chains into the bottom of Kaname's closet, snatching out all of his own and dash into the bathroom with my cricket jar to empty (about ten thousand). I place three cameras and activate my laptop to check if it's working I flip off camera Two and it shows, so I nod to myself and dash out.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, I'm on a busy schedule! Kaname is still not in his room, so I'm walking to Zero's with my eyes glued to the monitor. To think we're at about four-hundred words already…I use my back to shove through the Sun Boys Dormitories door and walk up to Zero's room, going into his closet to snatch out every shirt, checking my second laptop for Headmaster's House cameras to find a naked Zero (scarred for life thanks to him) in the shower, so I look around to find his last shirt (I guess he went over there shirtless (well it IS spring).

I shove all of them into the bag with Kaname's clothes and place cameras, accessing laptop three (then using my powers to make them levitate) and checking if it worked. Once I confirm that, I snatch Bloody Rose (idiot), refill the closet with bras and panties, and walk out, laptops flying in circles around my head, and I check the list. I shrug and walk over to the washing room to dump every article of clothing inside and dump all my ink in there, also producing red and blue food dye, a moldy popsicle, and some good old fashioned dry soap bar with tons of detergent, shutting the lid and skipping out as the machine rumbles.

**Room Assault**

I nibble on Rima's pocky as I watch Kaname enter his room (FINALLY). Now with four cameras, I smirk as he drops everything in his hands and stares horrified at the Headmaster, who's cursing like a sailor who got shot ten times and is bleeding his heart all over the place. "GET THIS *CENSOR* THING OFF OF MY *CENSOR* BODY!"

Kaname yanks the cuffs off and shows Headmaster out, closing the door and looking around with alarm. He tip-toes to the closet and opens it to via gangster clothes (two down). "Ann?" he raises a brow.

Something hops up his leg and he looks down, walking into the bathroom to groan and punch the wall (VIOLENCE!^^). The grasshoppers are everywhere, obeying my will to make Kaname miserable. I smile and gulp at Monitor Four, seeing Rima not reacting at ALL to the missing pocky and lay on the bed. I flip the screen off and eat the rest of the pocky before walking off with my trusty fake-mustache in hand.

**Yuki's Torture Segment**

4/19 COMPLETED! I do a small chicken dance and knock on Yuki's door. "Yes?" she pops her head out.

I hand her a box. "Only two cents."

She raises a brow and I just shove it at her, walking away casually while counting the $52 at hand from stealing her wallet (I should steal their wallets for a living…). I stretch out and feel her grip my shoulder, turning with that innocent o.o? face. She holds up the box of crack and I sigh, bringing out Mary the duct tape, the divorced wife of Marvin. "Nice try," she sighs.

"Would you like a naked Zero with that?"

She blinks. "W-What?"

"Would you like a naked Zero with that?"

She shakes her head and sighs. "What are we going to do with you Ann?"

I smile and skip off, ripping off the mustache before screaming in pain while Beet and Richard walk down the hall (WHAT THE HLL IS MY BROTHER DOING IN GIRL DORMS?). Welp, I have 6/19 completed, and in less than nine-hundred, thirty words!

**Missing Items (and Dignity)**

After carefully sneaking back to Kaname's room (cleaning up crickets takes a while huh?) and sliding the Bloody Rose under the tainted bed, I walk into Zero's room to find him holding his head in his hands. I smirk and take a quick picture with Merly, the Annoying Camera and Mary's ex (don't-it spoil-it my-it fun-it). I shake my head and click my tongue. "Wait 'till headmaster gets word that you're a cross-dresser…"

He chases me to the Headmasters office (#1 means of transportation) and I show Heady the picture, Heady sighing. "And I should believe the student who hand-cuffed me to a bed wearing women's lace underwear…why?"

"Because, I have more handcuffs!" I lift up a rusted pair.

He sighs and Zero comes in panting. Man is he fat. "Zero, remove the girls under clothing in your closet. And why are you shirtless?"

Zero glares up at me and, taking his left hand off of his left knee, jabs a sweaty index finger at me. "Ask…that...DEMON!"

He falls forward and I skip out. I cross the items off. Yep, 9/19 completo. Okay, so next is supposedly not as cool and smooth as this sht so far, but eh, who cares?

**Clothes Assault**

So I was in the Laundry room and found Kaname growling at me, holding up his clothing and Zero entering shortly after to pick my up by the collar. "WHAT THE FCK?"

I shrug and kiss him…ON THE LIPS! XD! YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES! "I'm lonely," I shrug and squeak like a school slut, strutting out and waving one finger in that 'come here dirty boy' tramp language. I hear a thick thump of Zero-body on floor and hug my ribs with one arm, covering my mouth securely with the other. Told you.

**Shiki's Torture Segment**

Shiki enters his room (me hiding under the bed) and sighs. "Ann, nice try…"

I snap my fingers and curse. I guess painting naked Goth women on the walls wasn't enough torture.

**Breaking Down**

No, it's NOT a pun on 'Breaking Dawn'. And also give me some cred for the Shiki torture! I. CAN'T. TORTURE. EMOS. OR. GOTHIES! I mean Barney's Emo, right? I shrug to myself in Night Class, even if it's only a few of us, and smirk. I haven't tortured Aido lately…I gasp and start twitching my eye, screaming and falling on the floor with cream soda bubbling out of my mouth. Ruka screams and I lay there, playing dead, as the teacher walks up to gently kick my side. "What caused _this _'breakdown'?" he sighs.

I grip his pant cuff 'weakly'. "Whether or not…Aido's…a girl or boy…"

"HEY!" Aido kneels next to my head, flicking the temple.

I'm shoving Marvin into his baby maker, the blood actually going well with the white pants, although it looks like it's that time o' month. "RESPECT DEAD PEOPLE VIRGIN!"

Don't ask me how 'virgin' is insulting.

**Lovey-Dovey With Someone I DON'T KNOW**

How this came to be is a mystery to me, but eh, if it makes those happy readers out there laugh their lungs out (Lungs needed for Blood Foundation O' Ann Demon Gone Out Of Hand Siam). Okay, with a mail bag of Rated X love letters from someone named Kana-chan (Kaname I'm guessing), I sneak into his office and sneak behind Heady, screaming at the top of my lungs to cause him to jump and turn. He clamps a hand over my mouth. "What?" he sighs.

I hand him the bag and skip out, shutting the door and putting my ear to it. He sighs and starts banging his head against the wall. I nod and cross that off. Yep! 12/19!

**Classy Torture-y**

Okay, back in class (I'm serious, where are the people?). Mimi is on my left and Richard is on my right (we all have to sit in the front dmn it). Kaname is on Richard's right (sort of pale though…) with Kain on his right. Aido is at Mimi's left. Ruka is next to Kain, Rima next to her, and Shiki next to her. The teacher isn't in yet, so I hop up and take out a marker, tackling Ruka (eh, felt like it) and start scribbling 'IM DESPERATE' on her forehead while 'WHAT THE FCK? GET OFF!' echoes peacefully throughout the classroom (MY level of peace anyway…do you know how many times louder Kaname and Zero are?). Eventually I jump off and the squeaking of chair legs makes me cringe and look back to everyone BUT Richard at the far side of the room away from me. I smile and sit next to Richard in my original seat, patting his head.

"Good Nii-sama!"

"Nii…sama? Who hit your head?"

I glomp him, hearts flying around. "Nobody, Nii-sama!"

Next thing you know my arms are left with wide and I'm blinking as Richard is clinging to Kain's shoulders, shaking with wide-eyes. Jeez…

(Insert Time Passing Here)

More like One Hour Later to be precise…

"I'M TELLING YOU IT'S NOT NATURAL!"

"It is," Kain sighs.

I groan and fling my arms up in the air. "I GIVE UP! YOU EMOS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO TORTURE!"

I stomp back to my seat from the whole bunch of babies and start scribbling on the desk 'Buy Emo Torture Book'. I turn to Aido and smirk. Yep, might as well do it later. And no, it hasn't been two nights, they're just weird like that. It's only Lunch time of May 4.

**Zero's Torture Segment #966,666,666,653,265,654,649,484,746,515,445,485,164**

Naomi enters Zero's dorm with a bag of donuts she owes him from 5:52A.M. on the dot and blinks up as I stretch to fill the last spot on the walls with a sticky note with a bird and a bee on it. Don't ask me what they're doing. I hear her drop the bag and gap. "What. The. Fck."

"Isn't it pretty," I smile, hands under chin with batting eyelashes.

She plucks one off, making me fall off the ladder. " 'Dear Zero-koi,' " she reads, " 'I want to suck your-I'm censoring for BOTH our sakes-till dawn and have every one of your babies, you sexy-censor. I'm serious why the heck did you write _that_?"

"Well I can't say I want him to suck my tits because I DON'T HAVE ANY!" I pout.

"Not the point here!" she waves a hand. "This is Rated X for a Rated 'T' thing!"

"And? It's not like I'm thoroughly describing how I'm sucking!"

"Dude just take them down!"

"Hey, this was a request! I would've been SO much happier if it was violent, but no, Marvin, Btchy Mary, and Merly wanted it to make him turn Gay! Now excuse me!" I start walking over to Zero's closet. "I have work to do!"

I shut myself in and she sighs, walking out and Zero later walking in (yes, all post-notes are signed) and I hear a gun go off. I peek into the room to see he shot his foot, most of his body bruised, hair pulled, and body scratched off as well. Must've went back for his Bloody Rose seeing he has it in his hand.

(Insert 'Why me's Here)

After Zero cries himself to sleep (…they're just notes…), I start scratching on the wall and banging it at points, making him cringe and shoot up, sweating. He looks at the closet (silent, teehee) and falls back to sleep. I keep making the noises and smirk as I groan (what image do you think I'm trying to put in his head?) and he screams, covering his head with a pillow and curling up into a ball. Yuki comes in and I stop the noises. "Zero! What's wrong?"

Why is she…never mind. "Ann keeps raping me…" he mutters in fast pace. "Ann keeps raping me…"

"Zero…she's not _that _psychopathic."

"OF COURSE I AM!" I shoot out, grabbing her by the collar with a red face. "I'M COMPLETELY PSYCHOPATHIC! I'M THE MOST-oh you're awake Zero."

"ANN!" he whips out Bloody Rose.

"Eep! MARVIN SAVE ME!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BSTARD!"

"Bstards for boys~Btches for girls~"

"RRAAAHHHH!"

I check my noose watch to smirk as I run. Only 2:45P.M. Zinga! 17/19! Well, technically I WASN'T following Richard, but eh, it works.

**Aido Doesn't Understand Sex**

"Hey Aido!" I sit next to him on the couch, lifting my hands to show no Marvin, by Mary.

"What's the duct tape for?" he yawns, stretching.

"To help you understand the Birds and the Bees!"

"The what?"

I blink, sober. "You really have NEVER had this talk?" He shakes his head.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"LOOK," I groan, "IT'S FAIRLY SIMPLE. THE BEE STICKS THAT UP THE BIRDS 'THAT' AND A MUTANT BIRBEE IS BORN."

"I still don't get it!" he sighs.

I start duct taping him to the couch, whip Marvin out of my pocket, and taser his balls till blood comes through. HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO DMN STUPID?

**Last One Of De Day!**

"Hey Zero!" I call, running up.

"Go away."

"Aww…please Mr. Sexy?"

"NO."

"Are you still mad?"

"YES."

"Come on, just because Ichiru is hotter than you, that doesn't mean you have to be so grumpy."

He stops, looking down at Fourteen (again I look Thirteen, but Gd doesn't want me to have tits to write disturbing sticky notes to Zero about) year old me. "We're twins. How can one be 'hotter' than the other?"

"Easy, he just is," I smile.

This goes on for hours.

"He's hotter."

"We're twins."

"He's hotter."

"WE'RE TWINS."

"HE'S HOTTER!"

"WE'RE TWINS!"

"Oh alright Mr. Virgin, I get it."

He chases me to my dorm where I slam the door shut and scream, plopping into bed and shutting my eyes. TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY!

**Questions**

**One-What are YOU getting for Ann's birthday?**

**Two-What to do on Ann's birthday…**

**Three-Should Ann fall in love, or do you want this to remain strictly friendship between the students?**

**Four-WHO WANTS TO MEET MARVIN?**


	22. Chapter 22

_Chapter 22_

I pop my eyes open and squeal. MAY 5th BTCHES! SUCK IT *flips finger at readers* WHOOHOO! *chicken dance*. "Today is my birth~day! Today is my birth~day! FCK YEAH!" Okay, all morning sugar gone. I check the list of today and smile. Yeah, something to do on my birthday…

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, in counting, there are eight. Linkinparkfan9799 wouldn't tell me what Naomi got me (stupid btchy payer…), so yeah, a bit in the torture mood. I catch sight of Zero and smirk, skipping over and clinging to his arm like a six-year-old (duh, I AM one). "Wello Wero!" I squeal. "What wou woing?"

"Trying to get to your party, but that's sort of hard," he picks me up like a six-year-old, "with a naïve little trouble maker clinging to me like a drunkard."

I flick his nose playfully and glomp his neck. "I know YOU like ME!" I holler like a drunkard off his/her as BIG time. "SO, you bringing your GF to the party?"

"What girlfriend?"

I turn to Richard. "Oh don't you remember?"

Zero blinks. "I don't _have _a girlfriend."

"Sure you does!" I hop off. "I've seen her before! Right Richard?"

"Yeah, I think her name started with a 'Y'…" he smirks.

"Uh-huh, should be something like Yukari or maybe it was Yuka or Yui…"

"Maybe Yeki?"

"Oh stop," Zero snarls, slapping both of us upside the head and walking off.

I fall on my butt and make the XP face, sticking my thumb in my mouth. "FATTY!"

I don't think he heard me, so I pout and scribble on my arm a reminder to strip him naked in front of orphans.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Naomi hugs me.

"Yay~someone who can say the dmn two words!" I twirl. "What did you give me?"

She brings out a list. "Okay, so first I set up little surveillance cameras in Zero, Kaname, Aido, Shiki, Headmaster, Yuki, Richard, Ruka, Rima and Yagari's room, which are streamed to your…multiple laptops following you like puppies," she points to the ground behind me with a navy ball-point pen, so I turn to find indeed my four laptops (one is black with a red dead person with multiple bullets in the skull, one is red with a black stick figure being stabbed by a unicorn, one is yellow with a black bird and bee, and the last is multiple pictures of Kaname and Zero raping each other, which I have NO idea how that got there). She covers her eyes at the fourth one as I shred them to only pictures of Sexy, mostly naked, Zero. "Better," she smiles. "Okay, so secondly, Marvin has a sister!"

"Yay~Marvin come meet your sister!" I take Marvin out and she takes out a dart-firing stun gun. I gladly accept it. "Yay, Yay, Yay~You're name 'Aido Killer' or A.K!" I hug it and accidentally shock myself and fall to the ground. "YAY! THIS HURTS!" She shakes her head with a smirk and looks back down to her list. She lifts up a small package and I accept it, tearing it to shreds to scowl. "A double D bra? That's mean! I'm titless! I have a tit infection of some sort that makes me titless! Don't insult the sick after you've given them a stun gun!"

I chase her around for a few minutes before she gives me a last present (four, huh, I bet nobody can beat that [unless Zero gives me an engagement ring^,,^]). I open some black and yellow binder and laugh my guts out. "You know, you really have a Rated X mind," she giggles.

"Hey, you gave me the embarrassing photos! An besides, so the first one shows Zero naked in the shower with ink for soap, it's not like I haven't seen worse."

(Insert Time Passing Here)

1/8 things completed. I run into town and look around. Jeez Kaname set this up, so…I look down at the address and run in that direction, seeing Naomi had to do something real quick and asked me to wait. Of course I ditched her, but I really want to celebrate my birthday without being alone! Jeez does _THAT _bring back memories…

_A little girl with brown ponytails and a ruffled dress with short puffy sleeves and a bunny on the front is holding a calendar close to her face, about the size of a average height woman's calf. "I told you I'm too busy for whatever you're trying to show me Ann!" the woman snaps from fatigue. "Look Marco I'm telling you it's NOT on the schedule…"_

_Little Ann tries her father. "Too busy."_

_Richard is at school, so she clamors up to her room and crawls onto the bed, hugging a black bear the size of her five-year-old torso with a red vest-jacket containging black trim. It is plenty of furry and huggable. Later her parents say they have to go and she clamors down to make a cake for herself, managing to burn three and her arms twice, scraping herself on a pan and eventually making a crumb of a cake for herself, blowing out five candles separately and hugging her bear in her left hand and her decapitated vampire plush toy in the other. "Me wan' Mommie an' Daddie wo welebrate me wirthday with me," she wishes, eating the crumb and walking back up to her room to sleep._

Well, shows them. I can have a happy birthday with at least _friends _remembering! All they care about is stupid Al! I slam into a door and fall backwards, rubbing my head. "Jeez…this is what you get for trying to do the Barney thing and remember the bad stuff of life and let it go!" I grumble.

The door opens and a blurry shape heaves me up. "What are you doing Ann?"

I shake my head to look up to…Mom? "I should be asking you that," I blink. I look at the address and at the paper. This is the right place…"I'm here for a purpose."

"And what might that be?"

I gap. STILL? "Gd…you really can't get it, even after the fifteen years you've known your own DAUGHTER? That's bad parenting!"

"What are you talking about?" Dad comes up.

"Ugh…never mind! And what are you doing here anyways? I thought you went to the Tiger?"

"Taiga," Al pipes up, "and it canceled."

"Oh boy…" I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Okay, this is officially either the crummiest day of my life or the best."

"Why? Do you not like seeing your family?" Mom giggles.

I grow red in the face. "NO! YOU DON'T LIKE SEEING ME!"

"Not true!" Dad defends. "We-"

"NEVER REMEMBER YOUR OWN DAUGHTER'S _BIRTHDAY!_" I shriek, glass shattering.

They blink. Al walks up. "You have a birthday?"

"YES!" I scream. "AND YOU ALL FORGOT IT!"

"Ann?"

I bite my lip, blood dribbling down my chin, and I look past them to Kaname, actually sympathetic looking. "Yeah?" I snap.

"You ready?"

I nod and shove past Al, managing to make him slam against the door frame, and walk next to Kaname, following him deeper inside to a restaurant, sort of. There are a few humans, but the rest are vampires, and it's not that crowded. I spot Richard waving and managing to hit Zero in the face, which earns Richard a slap upside the head, and then they start fighting, which I snap a picture of. They look over and I smile. "Zero~" I skip over. "I have something for you~"

He raises a brow and I tackle him to the ground, trying to get the bra on him (hey, it's SOMETHING). "GET OFF ME!" he screams.

I laugh and shoot him with the stun gun. Believe it or not, it's easier to get a Double D bra on a jerking boy.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

2/8 Completo! More people start arriving and my parents are staring at our table, which I ignore them. I mean they can't even remember my own _birthday_, so they probably will just forget it and we'll go to the usual drill all over again. So there's a HUGE cake (thank you Kaname~), so after Zero got a piece Richard and Zero got into another fight and I quickly snuck blood capsules into his cake. He went back to eat it and covered his mouth, trying to run to the bathroom I guess but ended up puking on Kaname, which I take a picture of. Kaname shoots up and stares at the puke.

"What. Is. This," he points down.

Huh, calmer than he would've reacted if it was me. "Puke," I smile. "You allergic to something Zero?" He shakes his head. "Hmm…it's red velvet with blood capsules…"

"There aren't blood capsules," Kaname pinches the bridge of his nose.

Zero glares at me and I spend the next six minutes of my valuable life running and screaming with a crazy Level D hunter after my hide with a Bloody Rose. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE WHORE!" Zero.

"SOMEONE HELP!"

"YOU LITTLE BTCH ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?"

Man does this remind me of Charlie Chaplin. "EH, IT'D HELP!"

(Insert Time Passing Here)

3/8…completed…phew…Zero and I are leaning on each other, panting. "Truce?" we ask in unison. We fall backwards and I see Yuki's sleeping, and I look at the clock to see Headmaster is due any second. I smile and take out some plastic ring, slipping it on the 'wedding ring finger' and waiting for Headmaster to come. When he does, he freaks out, running around with tears streaming and Yuki with Kaname trying to calm him down, Naomi sighing and shaking her head. I note Shiki is next to her, so I smirk and tackle both (I should join wrestling^^) and superglue their hands together. "YES! TWO IN ONE THROW!"

They raise their brows at me as I get up to do the chicken dance.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, 5/8 done! I spot Richard and Kaname talking about fifteen minutes from that, Shiki actually being tortured from that seeing Naomi wants to bear his children (read her journal^,,^ NINJA VAMP!). I smile and hold the superglue behind my back, skipping over. "Thank you guys for coming!"

"Your welcome," they smile.

"Hey, can I see what you're drinking? It looks like whiskey from here."

They roll their eyes and hold up the glasses. I smirk and pin their wrists to the wall, making sure to superglue them securely and slip a ring on each finger, laughing my guts off. "Ann…" Richard's eye twitches. "What are you doing?"

"Eh, I'm getting paid with fans~" I twirl, dancing off while Kaname mutters something about 'cute, but a nightmare'.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Two more! Rima is sitting at the table, so I quickly get some cake, scrape off the frosting to eat, and place superglue for frosting, sliding the plate to Rima. "Here! You need to eat."

She sighs. "Alright…"

I laugh as she gets the cake stuck to her pallet and walk off. What's missing…"Hey!" Aido greets. He hands me a small present. "Happy Birthday!"

I smirk and pin him to the wall. "Want to meet A.K?"

"Who?"

"A.K stands for AIDO KILLER!"

I shock him with the stun gun before Kain manages to un pin him, so I go and superglue the two together with any remaining glue, tie their necks together with the bra, and take out a picture of Kaname from the binder and glue it to their faces, shocking them once again and skipping off singing Barney's clean up song. Yep. Nothing happened! ^^.

(Insert Time Passing Here)

Okay, what sucks is that a vampire in the place could melt the superglue, so boo them :(. But hey, here we are, me sitting in the head of the table, with an extra cake (red velvet mmm) just for me! I smile and twist and turn in my seat. "Yay~ SOMEONE SING ME BIRTHDAY SONG!" I wave A.K and Marvin around.

"Okay!" Zero and Kaname pins my wrists to the table. "NO TASERS!"

I pout. "Okay…CHAINSAW?"

"No."

"Miley Cyrus?"

"No."

"ANYTHING?"

They hand me a plastic fork completely baby-proofed and a bib. Kaname wraps the bib around my neck and Zero grabs a high chair. "Hold still," he grunts.

"YOU'RE NOT PUTTING ME IN THAT-HEY! ZERO!"

He eventually belts me into the high-chair and Ruka lights the candles. They sing the song and Richard smirks, leaning close to my face. "Make a wish wittle wirl." I bite his hand and he yelps, taking it back and sucking the blood. "OW! FANGS REMEMBER?"

"What fangs?" I snap innocently. "I don't have fangs. I have teeth, like everyone else, that will shred you at the academy if you don't start running."

"Aw, but you didn't wish yet."

"I wish Zero will let me out of this high chair. Now get over here!"

Zero shakes his head. "Tell someone and it won't come true," he smirks.

"Fck it."

"Oh come on!" Yuki whines. "Just do it!"

"_I wish that my family would remember my birthday." _"Okay, I wished for something. NOW LET ME OUT!"

"Nah," they all shake their heads and walk off, well, except Kaname and Zero and Aido who have popcorn and just sit there.

"BSTARDS!" I scream.

Of course Naomi comes by like three hours later and releases me. I yawn. Well, this is the best birthday I'm going to get, so no bad talking it!

**What to do…**

**One more chapter and then I MIGHT do a sequel that's basically requests and my own jacked up ideas.**


	23. Chapter 23: The Conclusion

_**SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! **_**My computers are mean to me...(sad face)**

**Ann: SHUN! (turns)**

**(Sticks out tongue) YOU DID NOTHING!**

**Ann: Eh, I just get paid**

**Ugh...**

_Chapter 23: The Beginng of a New Year  
><em>Okay, so I haven't been active lately. THERE WERE EXAMS! I aced them ^.^. Now it's time for baby payback and a few last things before school ends tomorrow at...noon. Huh. Anyways...(scans list...)

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I'm not a fcking computer...

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Nine things? Jeez, TOO MUCH-ooh~ these are fun, fun, FUN! (Clears throat). Sorry.

_**4:29 A.M-Kaname's Dorm**_

**Supplies- Portable TV, plenty of special chains from EBay (totally 100% trustworthy), teletubies and Dora EVERYTHING recorded into one tape, and duct tape**

Okay, so I'm starting a supply thing. It seems cool. Gives you a chance to do this-**ANN!** Alright! Kids, don't do this at home (actually do, just do it and I'll get you out of jail if it comes to that). Sneaking into Kaname's dorm as he sleeps (how can ANYONE sleep with _me _around?), I set the TV into a good position, enter the tape, and quickly chain Kaname to his bed. I hit his nuts with some clock on his nightstand and his eyes fly open, so I duct tape them wide open. "WHAT THE-"

_"Dora the Explorer!"_

"AH! ANN! DMN YOU!"

I skip out, having checked to make sure it was stuck on replay for **ETERNITY!**

**Special Thanks to: ThePockyMachine**

_**4:36 A.M-Hanabusa's Dorm**_

**Supplies-baby doll, fake blood, razor, well placed stabs, superglue, torn up doll dress, spoon, dirt, paint, and taser**

All for a creepy baby doll. Sitting in a chair in said vamp's dorm (Akatsuki not far), I take out a baby doll I got from Uncle Marc (most awsome uncle EVER) and scoop out one eye, painting the other completely white. I hack the hair with a razor until half is shoulder length, a quarter is bald, a sixteenth is drenched in fake blood, and three sixteeths is close to the scalp. I stab the stomach a few times, shred the bottom of the dress and rip off the left sleeve, sprinkle it with dirt, drench the blood and face with fake blood (chunks to make it seem more gory^^), and walk over to Hanabusa. i dump the superglue on his chest and plant the doll's butt on the puddle, making sure it stays. I pluck out Marvin (taser) and jam it into his nuts, running out as he screams like the girl he is.

**Special Thanks to: ThePockyMachine**

_**5:00 A.M.-Zero's Dorm**_

**Supplies-superglue, IPod, Justin Bieber music, sleeping Zero**

Okay, is it really that hard to get? Dip earplugs into superglue and put it into his ears. I switched on 'Never Say Never' and ran out, drinking in each terrified scream.

**Special Thanks to: ThePockyMachine**

_**6:34 A.M.-Headmaster's House**_

**Supplies-laxatives**

"That's a lovely unicorn you drew," Yuki smiles.

"Aw, thanks! Her name is Princess!"

"Stupid btch..." Zero mutters as he chews his eggs bitterly.

Headmaster sighs and scoops up some eggs. "I don't see what she did Zero, she's actually..." He gips his stomach. "Ugh! Excuse me!"

He runs into the bathroom and Yuki holds out her hand, sighing. I plop the laxatives into her palm and skip off, Kaname and Hanabusa waiting at the front door. So I taser both and cling to Yuki.

**Special Thanks to: ThePockyMachine**

_**8:00 A.M-Zero's Dorm/Kaname's Dorm**_

**Supplies- crazy chick, camera, peas**

"YAY~I get to watch Zero!" Naomi cheers.

I sigh. "It's called stalking, but eh, whatever."

I exit and quickly go to Kaname's dorm and fill it with peas. Kaname walks in and huffs. "What are you doing?"

I can tell most of his eyebrows are gone because of the duct tape. "I want to see if you're a princess!" I cheer. "Sit please!"

He huffs and sits. "I'm not, see?"

I fake-ponder. "Eh, you must be one ugly btch then."

I run out with Kaname chasing me (more work out...yay...)

**Special Thanks to: ThePockyMachine**

_**Class**_

**Supplies-acting skills**

"Blah, blah, blah," the teacher goes on.

Zero is next to me, staring at me to make sure I don't do anything, and I sigh. Just kill me please! I widen mhy eyes and grip my chest, faking a heart attack and falling on the floor. The teacher sighs as the students gather and comes up, nudging my ribs. "I know you find my lecture boring, but do you have to fake die?"

I hold a thumbs up and he chuckles, going back to the front of the class and Zero shakes his head. "Strange, strange Ann."

**Special Thanks to: ThePockyMachine**

_**12:00-Hea-**_

Sorry, but I can't, I'm sorry, but Yuki is so nice! I can't be mean now...(puppy eyes)

_**My room**_

"So he just...sulks?" I ask Naomi.

She pouts and nods. "Didn't even strip once...good thing he was always facing the camera!"

I pinch my nose. "Naomi, it's your own fault the lens was poking out and that I already _told _him."

Eh, had to. I have never totrured Naomi yet.

_**Tomorrow. End of Year Celebration at Night.**_

**Supplies-*CLASSIFIED***

As the music plays, Zero sits casually in his black T-Shirt and dark green slacks. He's reading something off his laptop and Yuki is talking with Kaname. I skip onto the stage and tap the Headmaster's shoulder. "Can I make an announcement?" I whisper.

He nods with a smile and hands me the microphone, so the music is paused and people stare at me with horror. "Oh crp," Hanabusa groans.

"Fellow students!" I start. "This has been an excellent school year and I, for one, have enjoyed every minute of it! Beet," I point to her, "you have dated my brother for two years, so congrats!" People applaud as both mentioned blush. "Kaname," I smile, "you're a true jack as, but even so, you have a place in that rock of a heart that has some lava, so thanks for being the first to celebrate me aging yet another year without tits." He chuckles. "Zero, you are Emo, violent, and horse-loving," he scowls, "but you're the sexiest, so thanks for giving me sex urges." He shakes his head. "Yuki and Naomi, I love both you crazy btches! Uncle Marc, if you're here, yes, I know Santa rapes kids, it's NOT new." People start edging for the exit. "Hanabusa, you'll NEVER have children because of my taser, so you should be thanking me for saving you from those terror balls of human fat. Ruka, you're desperate, deal with it. I'm titless, I know, and I deal with it, so follow my example. Senri and Rima, STOP BEING SO EMO! I NEED TO TORTURE MORE PEOPLE! Headmaster, I hope Yagari realizes you're perfect for each other-"

"Okay, give me the microphone," he huffs.

"One last thing..." I press the button on the controller I have behind myback and fireworks shoot into the sky.

YOU ROCK EVERYONG!

I curse under my breath and scowl at Calibri. "Everyon-G?" I shoot him with the stun gun at the 'CAUTION' setting. "Jeez...GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE! SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!"

I wave and toss the microphone away, running off the front of the stage and attacking Richard at random.

**Sequel: Annoying the Vamps 2**

**by: me**

**Star: Ann**

**ANN GETS LOVE OFFERS! But who shall she except? Review for your Ann pairing suggestions and for first chapter sht Ann needs to do!**


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